Page 43 of Of Realms and Chaos

The air felt thick with starvation and desperation, a blend of hopelessness that tainted the atmosphere. I slowly began to open that golden gate in my mind, chopping away at every barrier I had put up to block out the minds around me. As I did, a cacophony of voices found me, so many feelings and thoughts and memories flooding my mind. The orchestra of it took over my senses, the overarching tone of the melody one that permeated my heart with despair.

Despite the horror of how quickly beauty can fade to brokenness, I found myself comforted by the fact that I had been right about Shah. Something inside of me reached out, seeking solace from the soul within that had been left behind to rebuild a kingdom that had previously given her no love.

For all the good it seemed she had done, Shah was still plagued with self-hatred and pain. Her mind was easy to find, the commanding presence it held clear. I listened intently to her thoughts as she spoke.

Of course, he thinks himself right. Of course, he doubts my judgment. Two years have passed with solely me atop the throne, nearly eight hundred days of slowly growing peace and stability, and yet he continues to suggest me weak.

Even though I had absolutely no insight into the situation, I still found myself bristling. I fought back the urge to shatter the mind of the stupid male—man—beside Queen Shah, knowing it would be of little help.

Instead, I caressed Shah’s mind, humming a soothing tone to her. Her mind stilled, body relaxing.

“Are you ready?” I asked Henry, squeezing his hand. Our sweat mingled together, the nerves neither of us were willing to admit tacky on our skin.

Henry nodded, squaring his shoulders. I breathed out and tried to expel the anxiety from my body. This would be a delicate moment. I needed Shah to fear me, but I also needed her to understand me. There was a fine line to be walked, and I could not so much as stumble.

“Here we go.” My words seemed to echo in the air, a chilling declaration.

I closed my eyes and let my power grab onto Shah, her mind seeming to flinch away from me. Her thoughts raced, terror causing her to bend over at the waist. I maintained my hold, not squeezing any tighter or loosening my hold—just remaining still.

Hello, Shah, Queen of Behman.

Shah let out a fierce scream. I felt the pain that came from her clawing at her head, and I wondered if I were being just a bit too theatrical.

Remain calm, Your Majesty.

She stilled, her heartbeat slowing. A part of me, one that seemed to constantly be seeking a foothold at the forefront of my mind, questioned why we could not simply force the mortals to join our cause.

I had to take another long, deep inhale of air and remind myself that allies forcibly found were allies easily lost. That making someone possibly march to their death was wrong.

I mean you no harm. I simply wish for an audience with you. Please, do let me in.

I did not force her, did not push. I, instead, loosened my hold. My power slunk away from her, the feel of it fully returning to me like reuniting with a lover.

Henry and I waited, my chest rising and falling in quick, rapid movements. Hopefully, I was not too threatening. At least if I was too kind, I could always be firmer—that would be an easy task.

“Do you think she will allow us entrance?” Henry asked, his voice a whisper on the wind.

Nothing would make me happier than to say yes, to reassure him that we would succeed tonight. Yet I could not bring myself to do so. Not when I was so unsure of what lay ahead. Instead, I turned my head, smiling up at him.

“If not, we could always fight our way in. As you said, I need the practice.” He laughed, his face tilting up to the cloud-filled sky, the orange and pink shades of the setting sun lighting up his freckled face. “Plus, their blood will blend with the dress.”

A hand went to my arm, pushing me to the side. I laughed too and shoved him in return with far more force than he had used on me. He stumbled backwards, nearly falling down into the overgrown bushes just off the barely there path. I burst into a fit of cackles, the sound sharp and everything that I had been trained to be the opposite of. It was freeing, becoming exactly what Mia had never wanted me to be.

I briefly pondered if a day would ever come that I did not think of her.

Before those thoughts could find purchase, the wooden arch began to fall, slowly making its way to the ground. Henry and I froze for a moment, the stunned look on his face likely mirroring my own. Then we were up, both of us rushing back to make room for what I now knew was a gate. When it was fully lowered, hitting the ground with an earth-shaking thud, a small man stepped into the open archway.

He was a stout man, looking as if he might barely reach my chin. His hair was white, the top of his head bare, exposing his brown scalp. The long-sleeved tunic and trousers he wore were purple with red stitching, a red raven taking flight on the left side of his chest.

Could mortals see as well as fae and demons? The question hit me so suddenly, so fiercely, that I realized I had very little knowledge of mortals. I had never had the chance to ask Sterling, not only because he was exhausting to be around, but because he never seemed to want to talk about those aspects of his life. The only time I could think of was when he rambled nonsense while asking me to travel the world with him. Even around Farai, Jasper, and Kafele, he seemed set on reinventing himself, as if the moment he stepped onto The Capital’s soil he had been made new.

“Identify yourselves,” the man commanded, his voice a rich tenor. He had the same accent as other mortals of Behman, his rendition of the common tongue rolling and quick.

Henry took a step forward, his right shoulder crossing in front of me infinitesimally as his left hand went to the hilt of his sword. I recalled the way he and the others had spilled blood in Bellamy’s open wound months ago, their vows to protect me ringing through The Forest of Tragedies. Perhaps that disgusting practice held more weight than I had previously suspected.

What none of them seemed to understand was that I did not need protection. I was far stronger than any of them, far more powerful.

The only ones who needed protection were those who crossed my path. I would see to that.

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