Page 52 of Of Realms and Chaos

I grabbed onto Henry’s arm, yanking him back from the princess, who was somehow both terrified and furious—emotions permeating the air.

As the guards flanked her, I felt the presence of their minds, the overwhelming sense of terror too much after listening to the hateful—and undeniably true—words Genevieve had thrown my way.

Bellamy’s hand found my other one, and then we were portaling, my feet moving from the green tile to an ornate yellow rug. With a violent tug, I ripped my hands out of theirs, turning away from them. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my growing anxiety and never-ending dread.

What would we do if Genevieve contacted the remaining kingdoms? There was no way we could convince them to ally with us if she spewed poison into their ears first. Something had to be done about her.

“Henry,” I said through heavy breaths, my hands wrapped around my chest as if I could contain the panic. The Sun bent down slightly, his green eyes meeting mine. I hated what I needed to say to him, especially after he had defended me that way. “Take a breather, get washed up, then go find Princess Genevieve. We have risked everything by treating her with disrespect. Each of us will apologize, beginning with you.”

Henry’s jaw went slack as he stared at me, baffled by my order. But I could not think like a disgruntled or wronged princess. If I wanted to be a queen, I needed to act like one. Which meant swallowing my pride and apologizing to that bitch.

“Go. I have her,” Bellamy whispered from somewhere behind me. With that, Henry offered a curt nod and straightened, stomping to a pair of doors that looked to be the yellow color of moldy cheese. He yanked them open and slammed them closed behind him, the paintings rattling and the green curtains swaying.

The moment I heard Henry’s retreating footsteps fade, I fell to the floor, my body hunching over as I shook. For every success, two failures found me. Behman would side with Eoforhild, but at the cost of many lives. Genevieve had not been wrong about that, nor had she spoken falsely when she accused me of murder. I was a creature that tormented the dreams of mortals across this realm, stories of me reaching far and wide. No matter how much good I brought to the world, the evil within me would always outweigh it.

Bellamy slowly made his way around me, stopping once his shiny, black shoes were in my line of sight. When he gently lowered himself to the floor, his knees nearly touching mine, I had to fight against collapsing.

I could not fail him, not now when I had cost him so much.

Waiting for him to speak my thoughts was agonizing, because I knew that he was thinking the same thing. He had to be.

“Tell me what you need to feel safe,” he whispered, his raspy voice soft. Taken aback, I peered up at him. What I expected to be hateful condemnation was actually loving sympathy, those emotions suddenly projecting my way, his shouted thoughts pushing out my own.

Whatever you need, Ash, I will give it to you. I will steal the stars from the sky and hang them on your neck. I will melt every spec of gold in The Capital and forge something new. I will battle entire armies and lay their swords at your feet. I will do anything for you, if only you let me.

A single tear ran down my cheek, the only one I would let fall. I could not afford sobs of inadequacy and self-hatred right now. Preparing for the meeting tomorrow was what my mind needed to focus on, if I could just clear it. If I could just convince myself that I was capable of accomplishing more than ruination.

I do not know who I am, Bellamy. Everyone thinks something different of me. Wrath deemed me a savior, Genevieve called me a murderer, some think me a monster. I fear I am worse than all of those things. What if I am a curse?

It felt oddly comforting to speak the words, even if not aloud. Especially because it was not aloud. In fact, my near constant use of my power these days had been relieving, too. But nothing could soothe the ache of knowing what I was. Pino had said I would be the end, and every day I grew more convinced he was right.

“It seems you have forgotten, so let me remind you.” Bellamy’s words were less gentle now, the sturdiness of them more forceful than he usually was with me.

His fingers met my skin, reaching under my arms and lifting me to a standing position. Then one of his hands was at my back, straightening my spine as the other lifted my chin. When he slid behind me, he slowly turned my body to face away from the double doors. My knees shook as I took in the room. It was large, the two windows on the far wall closed off with heavy yellow curtains that matched the rug below our feet with green embroidered snakes creeping up to the ceiling.

To our right was a huge, four-poster bed. The wood was dark brown with bright green curtains offering privacy on all four sides, a large brick fireplace nestled in the corner. To the left was an armoire made of the same dark wood, its massive presence taking up every inch of the wall that the small desk beside it did not. Between the two windows ahead was a mirror that reached at least a foot above Bellamy’s head, the width of it nearly twice my size.

The Elemental loomed behind me, his presence demanding, as if I could look at nothing but him in our reflection. His head was turned down, inspecting me as I watched him. It was oddly thrilling standing here this way, witnessing the heated looks the prince gave me.

“What do you see, Ash?” he asked, his sultry rasp sending chills down my spine. Slowly, he slid his fingers up my arms, the featherlight touch a heady feeling.

Gazing at myself, I tried to find the answers he was looking for, but I could not fathom what he saw in me that was so special.

I was pretty, that was not something I would deny. My long brown waves—which had begun to take on more of a curl in my time away from The Capital—cascaded down my back, ending at the base of my spine. My heart-shaped face and big gray eyes fit well with my full lips and tan skin. Despite what the seamstress in The Capital said about my body—and what I myself thought of it—the roundness was highlighted in a beautiful way tonight. The red fabric was perfectly fitted, forming a second skin. The dip between my breasts glittered with the diamond-like gems. Pino was good at making anyone and everyone look stunning, not that he would ever get the chance to do so again.

My heart stuttered in my chest, the pain of that loss so strange when I had known him for such a short time. Still, it did hurt to know that he would never breathe again. That none of the residents of Haven would breathe again. That Winona would not breathe again.

That was one thing I could not understand, especially as I looked at myself now. Why take away such kind souls and let my blackened one see another day?

“Not much,” I finally responded, nothing else coming to mind. Bellamy tsked, his fingers brushing my hair behind my mutilated ears. He had always loved them, though I could not begin to understand why.

“You are so very wrong, Princess.” Then his hands were sliding down my back, unbuttoning my dress as they went. I gasped as his warm fingers met my cold skin, the way he maintained eye contact with me as he did so wickedly erotic. “In that mirror is a female brave enough to stand up to those who sought to abuse and belittle her. She is strong enough to fight back against those who wish harm upon her realm. She is kind, though also humble enough to not realize it. She is smart and cunning, always solving problems before they occur. That female is a leader, a warrior, a survivor.”

As he spoke, Bellamy let his fingers explore my exposed back, gliding across the skin with teasing strokes. When his hand slid up to my shoulders, tugging the material off, he brought his mouth down. The first scorching press of his lips to my flesh was impossibly satisfying, as if the teasing touches had electrified me. Every swipe of his tongue and graze of his teeth threatened to pull a moan from my lips, melting my core. When my chin tilted up at the pleasure of his tongue on my neck, Bellamy reached around and gripped my jaw. He forced my head back down with his tight hold, making me watch as he tasted me.

When he spoke next, it was against my skin.

“I have dreamed of you for so long, probably even longer than I realized. My wishes and prayers, every ounce of my faith, was directed towards you. I did not only want you. I needed you. Now here you are, so close, yet so far. I see it in you, that obsession with being a hero—a savior. Believe me, I think you one too. But now I feel it stealing you away, taking what little time we have.”

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