Page 58 of Of Realms and Chaos

“Infused into me? Is that even possible? I have never heard of something like that before.” Questions swirled through my mind, each begging to be acknowledged and answered.

But it was when Bellamy’s eyes flitted down to the now-writhing tattoos crawling their way up his hands that something within me clicked.

Bellamy never called King Adbeel Ayad his father. He never wielded his shadows in the same way that Noe did, the magic always manifesting through his fae power or when portaling. The tattoos were like veins, as if something dark flowed through his blood. He never said “we” when referencing demons.

Our discussion about the afterlife had consisted of him telling me what demons believe, not what he believes. His ears, his power, his emotions riling up his magic, the way he seemed to always separate himself from demonkind. Slowly, cautiously, I brought my fingers to his tattoos—no, his magic. I was sure of it then.

Bellamy was not demon at all.

“They forced magic into my veins not long after I was born. It nearly killed me. Pino showed me. I watched visions of myself screaming and convulsing, looking for all the world as if I was being tortured. When my tiny body finally settled, Moon magic started attacking me from the inside, like poison in my veins. The demon who had worked with my parents placed a ward on my heart, ancient magic that protected me from being consumed by that which did not belong.” Pausing, he grabbed my fingers, stilling them. I looked on as his eyes scrunched closed, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “Adbeel thinks that is why I developed an affinity to all four elements. His running assumption is that my power tried to balance out the magic, to combat it. Or maybe it was Eternity giving me a fighting chance.” His hands shook against mine, the truth sitting between us like a tangible being.

An urge to soothe him—to make sense of something so horrid and settle that pain I felt steadily tainting the air—came to me. I nearly choked on the force of it, the taste sour in my mouth. Every ounce of anger melted away, my heart only capable of breaking now. When he let go of my hands, backing up slightly, I quickly followed him. Wide blue eyes stared at me as I climbed onto his lap, so many versions of a single apology on the tip of my tongue.

Smoothing his wild black waves down, the hair becoming damp, I brought my forehead to his. Bellamy lost so much in such a short amount of time, two beings who had been like family to him as well as an entire village of fae that he had saved.

For the first time, I wondered if Bellamy felt guilt similar to mine. Over a month had passed of me wallowing in my own feelings, not considering the fact that he likely suffered in the same way. After focusing so much on his grief and sorrow, I realized now that I had overlooked the regret and accountability he likely suffocated on.

“I am so sorry, Bellamy.” His shoulders fell, body slumping forward. Leaning on me, I realized. “I love you—not because of or despite where you come from, but for who you are. I know I can be difficult, that sometimes I am unfair to you, and I will not pretend that it is okay. I do know, though, that you deserve all the love in the world.”

And when I grabbed him, pulling him into an embrace, I decided that I would do better—be better. He wrapped his arms around me, the tightness of the hold oddly comforting.

“I see you, all of you, and I am not afraid,” I whispered, my lips gently grazing his bare shoulder.

I wanted to know more—to understand how Bellamy came to be under Adbeel’s care, where his parents were now, what he thought my magic was, if they suspected that Mia and Xavier had done it after my parents’ deaths or…if my parents had done this to me.

But right now, while I basked in the presence of the male I loved and who loved me, all I could do was trust him with a truth too. As we both sat in the space where mistakes and remorse collided, I spoke.

“They are not always nightmares. Sometimes, I am visi—”

“You wretched little thing, I cannot believe you were going to leave me in that poor excuse for an inn while you slept in this—albeit hideous—castle!”

Bellamy and I both startled at the sudden presence beside us, the eerie voice a chilling sound that had us separating. Or perhaps the cold was from the water which Bellamy had instantly iced with his power.

Wrath sat perched on the side of the tub, looking incredibly bored. His soft fur and swishing tail were a strange contrast to his yellow eyes, but I was used to it by now, seeing as the tiny menace had not left my side for the last two days. Bellamy had only ever heard of the dalistori through notes though, so his instant wariness and confusion was not surprising.

“Twice we have been walked in on tonight. That might not seem like a lot to you, Wrathy, but it is quite strange that two creatures who are not Bellamy have seen me nude in a matter of hours.”

In front of me, Bellamy stared open-mouthed at Wrath, who briefly glared at me for the nickname before licking his paw casually. Stifling my growing laugh, I reached over to a nearby wooden rack and snatched one of the green towels.

“It seems this conversation will have to wait.”

“Yes, it seems so.” Bellamy’s growled words were followed by a vicious glare towards Wrath. The dalistori rolled his eyes in return. I chuckled, leaning into Bellamy in the hopes that only he would hear what I was about to say.

“Just so you know, I am still calling you ‘demon’. If only because you have a knack for tempting me in a way only wicked things can,” I whispered into his ear, offering him a kiss to his lips after. He groaned, but I slid free of him before he could get ahold of me. Then I stood, wrapping the towel around my body and exiting the tub.

“Disgusting.” Wrath’s bored and annoyed response towards my statement was all it took to send Bellamy into a mood, his loud huff and shaking of his towel telling me he was not a fan. He and Henry were about to have an incredible bonding experience.

I laughed, enjoying the small break from the everlasting intensity that filled my life. My feet slid on the ground, the cold making my teeth chatter. Leave it to me to skip over spring and summer by going South.

Heading back over to my red dress, a piece of gold fabric shone in my peripheral. I froze, not wanting to make eye contact with whatever garment sat atop the large bed.

Please say that is not for me.

Bellamy cocked his head to the side, the yellow towel around his hips low enough to show that indecent V shape as well as the magic below his veins. If magic had been infused into me, then why did I not have the same lines? Why did I not suffer the same pain he had?

Or maybe I did and I simply do not remember. Perhaps whoever did that to me had perfected it by the time I was ready. Could that be why I constantly felt my manipulation abilities, like they were something distinctly other?

Before he could make it to the bed, Bellamy froze, his eyes wide and darting back and forth, as if he were searching for something. A moment later, and his palm was up, shadows twirling around it until a pencil wrapped with paper appeared. Despite knowing that this would mean goodbye, I watched him open it with pointless hope.

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