Page 80 of Of Realms and Chaos

The door shut behind us just as Wrath’s growl filled the room. Farai’s wide eyes and worried downturn of his lips as he put on his hat pulled giggles out of my mouth, his own laughter soon following. All the while, we walked hand-in-hand, crossing the hallway and heading down the stairs.

It felt so impossibly right to have Fair with me, though the missing pieces of what truly became my family over the last two centuries were far more glaringly obvious with two parts of the puzzle now reunited.

The inn was relatively empty, the dark walls and mismatched runners quaint and inviting. Each step we took made the wooden floors creak, but in a way that reminded me of a well-lived-in space. I had never been to Farai’s family home, but I imagined his mother, father, and two sisters living somewhere like this. A place with warmth and love.

Of course, he had described to me in detail the small cottage he and Jas had found on Isle Shifter, which nearly rested on the border between the Multiple and Single Lands. It had vibrant blue walls and a bright white roof, as well as a small garden full of vegetables left from the previous owners. There was an extra room for the youngling they hoped to someday have, though the process of applying for a partner to carry their youngling was long and required their Warden to sign off on it. Still, the room, with its yellow walls and paintings of great Shifters from legends, had sounded beautiful—a space any youngling would be lucky to call home.

Both of us secured our cloaks around our necks, tugging our hoods up. But my mind wandered while Farai tucked away his ears, thinking of all the warmth that he could not find without his husband.

Last night, as we drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, Farai had wept, just as he had every night since Bellamy brought him to me. We talked of better times, and I listened to everything I had missed these last couple of months. I held him, promising we would find Jasper and bring him home. But, to him, this would never be home.

“Do you remember that one time Queen Mia invited Jasper and I to The Capital?” Farai asked as he pushed through the wooden door leading outside. The air was chilly, autumn in the Mortal Realm proving to be nearly as miserable as winters in Eoforhild. Above, dark clouds loomed—a mass of gray prepared to remind us all of what omens lurked in the darkness. “It was a long time ago, probably sixty or seventy years.”

My head bobbed, a slight nod as I recalled the memory. Like I had told Padon, so much of my history was laced with happy moments—times that left me questioning my right to grieve or feel wronged.

“Jas and I had been so surprised. I mean, we always felt it odd that she let us be friends when the laws were so strict. But we brushed it off, thinking she just loved you so much that she could not deny you the joy of friendship.”

He huffed then, a small and sarcastic laugh that forced my attention to hone in on the mood that seeped from him—a blend of anger and sorrow that seemed to taint everyone around me.

“She had let us stay a week, remember? She had the castle seamstress craft all four of us extravagant golden clothes, let us feast at her table, and did not mind when we spent three days straight hidden away in Nicola’s chambers.” A wistful tone settled into his words, the same that filled my mind as I thought of the kisses Mia would place on my head as she told me to enjoy myself.

Xavier had put on a little show for us one night, lighting a fire that levitated over the lake and took different forms like Shifters. Students in Academy had cheered, seeing the Element at work even from across The Capital where they resided. All four of us had gotten so drunk that we slept for an entire day—only waking up when Jasper screamed in his sleep that his father had stolen the chocolate, not him.

“I had never seen a problem with the gold and the rules and the expectations that they forced upon you. Back then, I made jokes about your clothes and hid your ear cuffs, but in the end, I thought it was just normal. You seemed distant, especially during our final year of Academy and the years immediately following, but I thought it was just the stress.” He sighed, pulling off his cloak and laying it onto the dewy grass before forcing me down to sit atop it, our backs falling against the brown outer wall of the inn. When he wrapped an arm around me, I nuzzled into his side, stretching my cloak to cover him as best as I could. “We thought they loved you. Especially when they pulled us aside during Academy and warned us against telling you of the unrest. They did not want you to know how the fae felt—that they blamed you. Of course, back then, it was less hectic, but we still saw it as a kindness to you.”

Unrest? Did he mean the anger during the public sentencings? If so, there was no hiding that from someone who could read thoughts. The mere memory of the hatred spewed my way from within their minds made me shiver.

“But then we found out about Sterling. With the king and queen allowing us to visit occasionally, we could not help ourselves. Remember when we met him? Jasper did not like him at all. Said he had the personality of a creature from the bottom of the Sea of Akiva.”

We both laughed, though neither sounded genuine.

“That was when I realized there was a difference between love and loyalty. Between family and…ownership.”

A sharp pain pinched my chest, the ache a reminder of not only what I had lost, but what was never there. Farai squeezed me tighter, a comfort and an anchor. I would not find myself lost in the desert of torment, starving and thirsty for any scrap of love offered. No. Now I had my Fair, who loved me enough to not let me drown or drift.

“You are more than a pawn, Asher. More than a means to an end. Believe me when I say that I am glad you are not in The Capital anymore. Truly. But I also fear that you have left one cage for another, that you have once more trapped yourself. Seeing you with the prince—or, more specifically, seeing you leave the prince—was a glaring display of who you are at your core.”

I laughed sardonically, looking up into his white eyes. “A monster? An idiot? A traitor?”

Farai shook his head, face grim and more serious than I preferred. With a heavy release of breath, he leaned down and kissed the top of my head before whispering, “A lost soul who thinks themselves unworthy of finding their way.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Asher

“Princess, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” King Trint said, his lips meeting the top of my hand in a lingering kiss. My smile was tight, a barely there show of gratitude.

He, unlike most of the other rulers I had met in my life, did not sport the teal and black of his kingdom’s colors. Instead, the young king wore a loose cream tunic, the sleeves rolled up to expose his dark brown forearms. The olive-colored trousers were not as loose but still did not fit in the same way most males wore them. His feet were bare, as if he could care little about the cold.

Trint’s hair was the only thing that looked meticulously put together. There had to be at least four dozen thick twists. Similar to braids, but without being weaved together, the chest-length groupings of black strands were perfectly positioned.

His face was round, just as his hazel eyes were, and his body showcased the active way in which he spent his time. Whether that be on the battlefield, in a training yard, or atop a bed was none of my business. Though his reputation leaned mostly towards the last option.

“The pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty. I am eternally grateful for your willingness to meet with me on such short notice.” My curtsy was low, and I heard Henry shouting into his mind to not bend too far or my dress might show more skin than planned. I snorted, immediately trying to compose myself as I stood again.

Brows raised so high they threatened to reach his hairline, Trint stared openly at me, though he did not ogle in the way most males—men—might. Instead, he measured me as if I were an enemy he was preparing to battle.

Perhaps I was.

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