Page 105 of Escape

There was the sex. Fuck, that had been amazing. Even better than I thought, and it was safe to say I’d thought about it a lot over the last several weeks, wholeheartedly believing it would be phenomenal.

But beyond that, I’d gotten Josie’s admission that she loved me. There wasn’t anything in the world that could have topped that.

“I’m glad you were wrong about that, because last night was easily the best night of my life,” I told her.

“Really?”

How could she think otherwise?

“What else do you think I’ve experienced in my life that could be better or even come close to comparing to what we shared yesterday?” I countered.

Acceptance and a hint of relief swept through her features. “Last night really was amazing, wasn’t it?”

I lifted my hand from her arm, brought it to the side of her face, and stroked my thumb along the apple of her cheek. “It was unbelievably good. Far better than I dreamed it would be. And I want to clarify that when I say last night was the best night of my life, I wasn’t just referring to the sex.”

Josie’s brows shot up in surprise. “You’re not?”

Shaking my head, I explained, “I don’t want to say it has less to do with the sex, because I do not want to diminish what being able to have that with you meant to me. But what means so much more to me is knowing how you feel about me and knowing I’ve finally told you what you mean to me.”

She dropped her gaze to my chest, her cheeks turning crimson with embarrassment. “Right. Yeah, I guess that is definitely much more important than the physical aspect of this.”

My hand moved from the side of her face back into her hair, tucking a lock of it behind her ear. My forefinger drifted along her jawline, made it to her chin, and tipped her head up. “Don’t feel embarrassed by that, Josie. I’m not sure I can express with words just how much the physical component to this means to me. I was dying just to kiss you for the longest time, so if you think finally having the opportunity to be inside you was no big deal to me, you’d be wrong. I loved it. I love you. And I’m so happy to be able to call you mine.”

The more and more I’d shared, the softer Josie’s features became. But it was when I got that final word out that it all changed. Her body tensed, something unpleasant moving through her expression.

When she didn’t speak or share what had caused that reaction, I asked, “Why does it feel like something bad just happened?”

She blinked her eyes, coming out of the fog, and shook her head. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Josie, honey, you can talk to me,” I promised. “Whatever is bothering you, I want to know so that we can discuss it and move on. I don’t want you carrying anything upsetting around for no reason. What did I say to upset you?”

She pressed her lips together, her head barely moving from side to side, as her eyes filled with tears. “It’s nothing,” she rasped. “I’m embarrassed for even reacting the way I did.”

“But why did you react like that?” I pressed. “Was it because I called you mine?”

Josie didn’t respond with words, but the way her body tensed and her expression changed told me what I needed to know. It was then it all fell into place for me.

My hand dropped to her bare shoulder, where I offered a gentle squeeze before allowing my hand to drift to her back. Once there, I began tracing delicately over her skin with my fingertips, hoping it would provide her with a level of reassurance that she had nothing to be upset, afraid, or worried about.

“I know you’ve been through something so unbelievably horrific,” I started, noting the way her breathing had grown shallow. “While I don’t know every detail about what life was like for you with him beyond what you’ve already shared with me, from the little that I do know, it wasn’t good. It definitely wasn’t the way it should have been or anywhere close to what you deserved.”

Her face remained impassive. It wasn’t as though I was sharing anything with her that she didn’t already know, so I shouldn’t have expected her to give me anything but the blank stare I was getting.

Being at this place with her, wanting the both of us to be able to fully enjoy where we were, I had to give her the explanation she needed.

“Not long after I first brought you back here when you came out of the hospital, you told me that you felt like a possession, like you weren’t your own person,” I went on. “That was his definition of what you being his was, and it’s disgusting he ever thought it should be that way.”

I was getting worked up just thinking about the way Josie had been treated nearly all her life by men who should have loved and cared for her better than anyone else and never gave it to her.

I sucked in a deep breath, let it out, and ended, “Being mine doesn’t mean you become a possession I can control, Josie. Being mine means that I’m going to take care of you and look out for you. I’m going to protect you from anything that stands to harm you. I’m going to support, trust, and love you. I intend to lift you up, to make you feel good, and be by your side as an equal partner as we walk through life together for as long as we want that to be. If the time ever comes that this isn’t working for either one of us, and I pray that day never comes, you’ll never have to fear that I’d take my hands to you to stop you. I can’t say I wouldn’t fight to keep you in my life by talking to you about it, because I believe we can work through anything and are worth fighting for, but if we tried hard, and it didn’t work, I’d never physically harm you or prevent you from leaving. Being mine means being loved even better than you deserve while I do my best to give you the world.”

Two tears had escaped and rolled down Josie’s cheeks. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me for responding like that. I know you’d never hurt me, but there was something about that word that just made me react. I know you’re not the monster he is. I’m so sorry for making you think I believed that was the case.”

I tightened my arm reassuringly around her and brought my other hand back to the side of her head, where I drove my fingers into her hair. After my hand settled at the back of her skull, I said, “I don’t want you to apologize to me for having a justifiable and completely reasonable response to something I said, even if the response was unnecessary. You’ve been through years of this, honey. It’s not going to be fixed overnight. But we’re going to keep working on it together. I don’t want to sit here and make promises that I won’t call you mine again, because I’m just not wired that way. I feel like I’ve waited an eternity to be able to do that. But I promise I will do it justice. I will work with you to get you to a place where you’ll know that being mine is a good thing.”

Josie had pulled her bottom lip in and bit down on it with her teeth. She remained like that as her eyes roamed over my face until she finally released her lip and said, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”

I grinned at her. “Are you okay?”

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