Page 115 of The Girl in the Forest

“It’s why we have to keep you alive,” Kazamir added. His frown lines had me questioning how solidly he agreed with that need. How many other vampires would die for the cause—because they did die. Like Njal. Like the vampire I’d turned to gray dust by surging energy until he exploded.

I leaned forward, my arms tight around my knees. I couldn’t change what was happening. My friends were here because they were loyal, willing to risk their lives without appreciating how great that risk could become—and Grayson had objected, because he’d worked out the threats without telling me. Or trusting me.

I’d felt small and useless, facing Barend in that great hall. And now, we were all an instant away from being lost in the Stygian dark. The flashlights were fading. Amal’s fog could find us. Or Barend’s hybrids. In any direction, down any of the tunnel openings leading from this space. Evil was lurking… waiting to consume the way Njal had been consumed.

It was crazy talk, I realized. Grayson had trusted me. He’d wrapped his arms around me, said he’d be waiting on the glass deck. I hadn’t been small, or useless, when I faced Barend. Our situation was not inevitable when there was hope.

“Here.” Cybelle reached inside her pack and brought out a small wrapped book. “Set took this from the archive—Amal’s journal. Set thought there might be something useful. She wants you to have it.”

Malevolence leached from the surface. My fingers curled away from taking it, but Laura crawled closer.

“You might need it.” She tucked the book into my pack.

Kazamir was prowling around, restless, as he circled the cavern perimeter.

I closed my eyes and listened for Grayson’s voice in my head. Only silence, and a hollow loneliness. I touched Laura’s hand.

“Have you tried using the pack bond?” I whispered. “Reached out to anyone near?”

“I’ve been trying. But we’re underground, Noa. And still in the Carmag. The alphas would have to be really close to hear us.”

“Keep trying,” I said. “Can you talk to Levi?”

“Yes, now that the wolfbane’s worn off.”

I handed her the spoon she needed to stir the pot. “How is he?”

“He needs Gray to heal him, but the pain is lessening. From what I can tell, he’ll be able to shift again.”

“How’s his wolf? And yours?” I added.

She shrugged. “Levi’s wolf is raging. Mine is pacing.”

“Would you like me to soothe her?” I’d never offered to syphon energy from Laura. I hadn’t thought of her as being like Oscar, or having a silent wolf, but the thought formed that maybe I could help her wolf the way I’d helped Grayson’s wolf if it was fear she faced.

“I just asked.” Laura’s smile was wry. “She says she isn’t a baby, but thank you. She’s worried you’ve used too much energy as it is.”

Laura had read the faille journals from Aine, the way Fallon had, and she squeezed my hand. “Stop worrying about us and take care of yourself, Noa.”

“I can’t.”

“You can,” she said.

“I feel… lost,” I admitted.

“Our greatest moments come when we’re lost. When we realize every star in the heavens stands alone,” she said, brushing at the ruined wolf rune. “But when a star is called to do something great… at the end, Noa… that’s when it burns the brightest. When it draws to it other light until there is nothing but that star, that light. And that’s what you are.”

CHAPTER 35

Noa

Moments later, after the tea had cooled enough to drink, Cybelle dug the map from my backpack and smoothed it out on the cavern floor. She and Kazamir bent over it, caught in a whispered debate until Julien joined in.

I was too tired to listen. Despite the fire, the cold crept back into my bones. My legs wobbled when I stretched them out; I felt odd, like I was fighting the lethargy I remembered from Aine’s wrinkle.

The path of my thoughts wandered this way and that, and I wondered if I was going fracky.

Falling for the beautiful lure, the one that had me forgetting what once mattered so I’d be content with what was.

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