Page 19 of The Girl in the Forest

I looked at Caerwen, and she gentled her expression.

“Many have come and gone, lady,” she said kindly. “The pretenders. The ones who wanted the gift. Those who tried to give or receive this mark and failed. He is a dread lord, because his sigil remains on your skin and only a king’s sin can keep it there. You are a faille. Your abilities are emerging. Strengthening by being around him. The things you’ve been able to do frighten you, confuse you—but you cannot forget what happened in a cave like this, the night when he inked the runes on your skin. And you already know the truth.”

The ritual—that promise and acceptance Grayson warned me about, and how once it was done, it could not be undone. He’d been an approaching storm, someone who would remake me…

Do not believe in fate, Noa. Do not, do not, do not!

“A sigil is also a mark of hope,” Caerwen said. “He can teach you, lady. You can help defeat his enemies. He is connected to you through this sigil. He protects you with his life, as you may want to protect him.”

I pulled my hand back, folded my fingers to hide the tremors. Perhaps, at one time, the sigil had been a connection. But the instant I pushed through the magic and entered Aine’s world, the wolf rune fell silent. There’d been no wicked little twitch. The ink wasn’t warm or cold. At times, I thought the black was fading.

Maybe we were pretenders after all, and I’d broken the sigil. Ended our bargain by coming into the wrinkle, the way Grayson offered to cut through the rune—such a simple ending.

He wouldn’t have said that if it wasn’t true, would he? To get me to leave? Go on with my life?

I clawed my fingers through the sand, not drawing circles but wiping them away, the way I wanted to wipe away everything the nymphs were saying. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe in fate, or dread lords and failles, tied together because of ancient sins. My mother warned me not to believe in fate, no matter how seductive or inevitable I thought it was. I didn’t want to think Grayson Devante believed in fate, not when he was the Alpha of Sentinel Falls. He would be above superstitions…

But his sigil was inked on my skin.

He’d said he could not ink the Green Man’s runes without adding his mark, and I should have asked about the cost of magic before ordering him to do it.

He’d also said he did me a favor, but he resented doing it, and I thought he’d been as trapped by the Green Man’s motives as I was.

Then I thought about Mosbach, sitting on that darkened glass deck, telling me the Alpha of Sentinel Falls would face challenges if I didn’t convince the elders that we hadn’t lied. I needed his scent on me. In me. And that night when I’d tried to seduce Grayson, I’d been thinking about his enemies.

I’d offered to protect him. And he’d said, “Convince me.”

Bits and snatches of our conversation flew through my mind.

“I’m not sleeping with you because of something that old man said…”

“No… we are sleeping with each other… because we have a bargain. Let me give this gift to you…”

He’d said Mosbach manipulated me, and I was too naïve not to wonder if sleeping with him would make it worse for me. Then he’d walked away, leaving me in the watchtower house as if his abandonment didn’t hurt.

But now I realized. His sigil had already been inked on my skin, which meant that if he’d accepted my offer to protect him, the circle would have closed. We would have been permanently bound.

Dizziness made me feel funny. I crawled on all fours to get away from the fire and find my blanket nest. It took so much effort to move, the way I’d been with the worm poison, trying to crawl away from him.

I looked weak. I was weak, while the turmoil in my mind made it hard to think.

“Are you alright?” Effa asked.

“I haven’t eaten.” And I wouldn’t believe what they’d said.

Effa touched my arm. “Your fate is up to you. You can return to that world—a world you weren’t sure was yours. Or you can remain here, hidden with the nymphs until enough time has passed and his life has ended. You’ll be free to start whatever life you want. Be happy. Have a family. Put everything behind you.”

Be alone. Everyone I loved would have also died. Was it too high a price to pay to thwart something I shouldn’t even believe in? Old stories of kings and queens, told to children to get them to behave?

I should have control over my own life, shouldn’t I? But just then, the cave flickered with light. I pushed upright, moved away from Caerwen, from Effa, although they followed me through the narrow passage, bending around and leading to the entrance in Grayson’s cave. Not the entrance from the wrinkle with the door—but the opening leading back to my world. I recognized the shimmer of magic. Through the translucence, I saw the shadows, some moving, some not. Effa put her hand against my back.

“The magic is offering you a way home,” she said.

But home was the last place I wanted to go. Too many thoughts tangled up into knots impossible to untie.

If what Caerwen and Effa said was true, then what I’d done to Grayson would always be between us. I’d condemned him. Asked for protection. He’d had no choice when I ordered him to finish the last rune, and if the day came when he resented me for it, decided I wasn’t cooperating… if he became my enemy and demanded my protection in return, I’d have no choice.

The way he’d had no choice. Each of us, forced to give up a part of ourselves. Closing the circle for sins committed eons ago.

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