Page 23 of The Girl in the Forest

Except that Levi’s expression froze, and I wanted to go to him, hug him because he thought I was staying in this cave when I’d already decided to leave. I couldn’t run from this. Couldn’t blind myself to it, either. Oscar needed me, if it wasn’t already too late. And he’d gone downhill because I hadn’t thought enough about the cost to others if I left. Only the risk in my actions, if I stayed.

I couldn’t leave Hattie or Leo on their own. I wasn’t even sure why I thought for so long that it didn’t matter what I did. As if the magic had offered more than one solution until it perceived which one I needed.

Or deserved.

Because the choice didn’t matter when the outcome was the same. Either way, I’d always be the catalyst. The differences were in where I was and who I hurt or helped.

I couldn’t change being faille, a girl without a wolf, but with more power than anyone understood. Even me. And maybe Grayson was the one person who could understand what it meant to cause havoc no matter what you did. He’d sensed the potential months ago, when I told him he wanted a myth.

And he’d told me a weapon that did not recognize itself was harmless.

I hadn’t understood what he meant, but I did now. I’d be harmless as long as I drifted through my pretend, no-wolf world. The view I framed through a camera lens. Or wished for in the wrinkle. I could lock myself in a numbing sameness, accept the slow slide until I was fracky.

But once I saw the real world as it existed. Once I faced evil charging across a meadow. Fought against it. Killed it. Smelled death. I could not look into a mirror and refuse to see what I was. Not realize that I wanted to be what… I… was.

Because I’d always stood up for the weak, faced bullies even when I hated doing it.

And I remembered what else Grayson said to me that day.

“You are a savior, or a weapon.”

I’d asked him which one I was to him.

And he’d said, “Both.”

That answer meant more now, knowing Grayson was a dread lord—and I was his mirror energy. He was one of the most destructive, dangerous alphas to exist, descended from kings, but I could soothe his demons—if I believed Caerwen and Effa. He was cursed to heal what had been broken, the way I was cursed to learn love and compassion. We’d already stumbled halfway into a circle made of magic. He’d marked me as his own, and be it myth or fairytale, what we were was… singular.

He’d been right when he said I couldn’t hide from what I was. I had to either find out what that meant, use it—or give up. And the enemy would win.

But I wouldn’t leave without first speaking to Aine. To Effa and Caerwen. To the magic that tried so hard to please.

As I hesitated, Levi’s posture changed, and then Laura stepped into the sunlight, walking to Levi’s side, not intending to startle either him or me. Her brown hair fell in waves, sliding forward as she hugged her brother, who remained wooden and braced.

“Noa… how are you?” She sounded casual, as if passing by on her way to somewhere else and had stopped long enough to say hello.

I called her bluff, but without heat in my voice. “Levi told you through the pack bond.”

Laura shrugged, brushed at her brother’s hair, and it was touching… the way they cared for each other.

“Levi thought he was alarming you,” she said, protective—of him, and not me. Was I still a worrisome threat to her?

No, not when she smiled and added, “He called in the big sister reinforcements.”

“More than one?” I glanced around, knowing from the humor in Laura’s tone that someone else was lurking nearby.

Fallon stepped out to where I could see her. “You’re out of shape.” She’d braced her hands against the fighting leathers she wore. “When was the last time you ran the lake circuit?”

“I don’t remember.” I tipped my chin toward her. “Are you here in your alpha role or sister role?”

She grinned. “Sister, because an alpha would be running your skinny ass off right now. It takes a sister to see that’s not what you need.”

“Noa.” I turned at the sound of Aine’s voice. The Queen of the Forest wore the colors of spring today, flowing pinks, roses, palest yellow. A crown of silver lilies glittered on her head. Beside her, Caerwen stood, wreathed in soft lavender chiffon. Effa also wore yellow, with little bees that buzzed around her corkscrew hair.

“I have to leave,” I told them, but I looked at Aine. Tipped my head.

“We understand.” Aine gestured, and Caerwen flitted toward me the way sunlight flits between moving leaves. She held several unread journals, and the most recent ones I’d been reading.

“We picked the most insightful testimonies,” Aine continued. “Take them with you. Keep them safe.”

---