Page 45 of Sealed in Ink

“You’re right. It is a lot. I don’t think you need to rush into anything. You’ve got—what—months until you start showing, right? Take it slow.Breathe, girl. You need to sort through one problem at a time. What’s bothering you right now?”

“I guess, Brad. It’s awkward between us.”

“So focus on that for the next few hours—one thing at a time. Then, later, you and Rust can talk. You can figure out what you’re going to do.”

“There are only two options: end it or tell Brad.”

Chrissy nods. “Then you need to tell Brad.”

I fold my arms, squeezing them tightly, my thoughts flashing with all the possible reactions. None of them are good. “He sacrificed everything for me,” I say, “and this is how I repay him.He could’ve played college football, but he stayed behind for me. Forme.”

“It’s already done,” Chrissy says softly. “You made that choice when you made love and when he tattooed you. Now you have to deal with the consequences.”

I sit back. “What doyouthink, then? Is Rust a creep? Remember how hot you used to find him?”

“Hey, that’s not fair. I didn’t know how you felt, and for the record, I’mnotinto older men anymore.”

“Neither am I,” I mutter. “It’s not because he’s older. It’s because he’s Rust.”

“Itisa big age gap,” she says. “Thirteen years. Plus, he’s known you almost his whole life. People might think?—”

“Ew, don’t even say that,” I snap. “That’s gross andsonot Rust. I was waiting for him to notice me for years. I was praying for it. You know what crushes are like, but he never did until the storm. Well, it was before that, he said. The first time was a few months ago.”

“When we were still in school?” She sucks in a breath. “I don’t know, Mary.”

“What don’t youknow?” I can’t stop the acid from entering my voice, the pain at the idea that this could be anything other than good, anything other than the right thing.

“Just hitting on high schoolers isn’t exactly agreenflag.”

“He wasn’t hitting on me. Anyway, don’t tell anyone, but he was a virgin before we met.”

Now, Chrissy can’t hide her derision. She rolls her eyes. “Really?Did he tell you this?”

“He’s not lying,” I snap. “We shared that moment together. He’s never been interested in anyone. It’sRust. He was like a robot before…”We fell in love, I almost say, which would be downright deranged. It’s like the pregnancy hormones are already messing with my emotions.

“I find that very hard to believe,” Chrissy says. “My older sister and all her friends used to gush over him in high school. He’s a friggin celebrity.”

“Hewasa virgin,” I tell her. “There’s a special connection between us. I know that makes me sound naïve, but it’s true. That moment when I told him about the baby, and he was spinning me around, was perfect. It was the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s not about age. It’s aboutus. I don’t want older men. He doesn’t want a younger woman. I want him. He wants me.”

I’m almost crying, my thoughts alight with visions of the future, holding the baby and looking over to see my man there, Brad standing at his shoulders, my baby’s uncle and father, so happy to meet them finally. It’s all happiness, all warmth. My tattoo glows and pulses just thinking about it.

Rubbing my cheeks, I try to force the tears away and the silly, tempting dreams of the future. None of that can happen unless we tell Brad, and if we do that?—

I can’t even think about it. “That’s not the issue,” I go on. “Rust and I would be together if it weren’t for Brad. I know it.”

“Even if he thinks you can’t make your own decisions?” Chrissy mutters.

“I think it’s just my age freaking him out. He thinks I’m naïve. Maybe I am a little, but what if I want to grow with him? Be with him?”

“You mean get married?”

I shrug, trying to make light of it, but a sparkle moves through me, washing away the pain.Get married. I walk down the aisle like in a fairy tale; the love pumps in my heart. Brad stands at the front as Rust’s best man. Chrissy is my maid of honor. There’s so much happiness and light.

“Well, yeah, maybe,” I say like it’s no big deal.

“Does he want anything long-term?” she asks.

“When I told him about the baby, he picked me up, swung me around, andcheered, Chrissy.”

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