Page 41 of Unofficial

A delivery man walks up to the building, and she's never been more thankful for a stranger in her life. "If you think I'm going to take a chance to put myself through all that pain again, you're certifiably insane." She turns to the delivery man. "Is that an order for Paul Gaines?"

"Yes."

"Is it already paid for?"

"Just need a signature."

Taking the pen he offers, Jess signs and takes the bags from him, ignoring the way he stares at her cleavage. "I need to get this inside. Goodbye, Kade."

Chapter Fifteen

Kade left Jess's office with a smirk. He shook her. He could feel it. All he has to do is find a way to convince her how serious he feels about giving them a real shot and giving him a second chance. He doesn’t plan to go away until he's exhausted every option out there to get her to see he's the one for her. Just like he knows she's the one for him.

God, he misses her. Even seeing her angry and upset at his poor timing, he can't help but think about how beautiful she is. How much knowing she'd slept with Landry hurt him doesn't compare to how much he craves being near her. He wants to never have to miss her again.

Stopping at the store, he picks up a bouquet of flowers and drives the short distance to her house. She has no idea he's showing up, and he thinks the element of surprise will work in his favor. At least, he hopes it will.

When Jess opens the door, she jumps in shock to see him standing on her front step, and he can't help but smile. Her eyes are wide as he holds out the bouquet of roses for her.

"Kade?"

"Hi, beautiful," Kade says. "We need to talk. We need to talk somewhere that isn't out in the open in front of many other people walking by. I wanted to get your favorite, but they only had roses and weird flowers dipped in some type of dye."

Jess takes the flowers on instinct, and he steps inside, not waiting for her invitation.

"No, you have to go. Landry's on his way over."

Remembering the shadows in her bedroom on Friday has him clenching his fists at his sides. "Jess, I'm going to be completely honest here. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, but I will do whatever it takes to win you back."

"Win me back? First of all, I'm not a prize to be won. Second, you never had me in the first place," she says. “That was your decision.”

Watching her stand in the entryway, holding the flowers he gave her, makes him happy. If nothing else, she didn't immediately walk into the kitchen and throw them away.

"I miss you. Nothing feels right without you around to talk to or see or touch. I'm going out of my mind."

"I already told you that I have no desire to be another number."

He shakes his head. "You would have the one and only number."

"You really are something else, aren't you?" she asks, and she laughs without sounding humored. "You come in here, months after you tell me you can't do the whole commitment thing I need, and now you're trying to tell me you're a commitment guy?"

"I didn't think I was. There are so many reasons why I believed that, but the truth is, the way I feel about you is different from how I felt about anyone else."

"And what exactly is it you feel for me?"

This is not how he wants to tell her he loves her. "Give me a chance to show you before I tell you."

Jess scoffs. "You can't even figure out how to verbalize how you feel. What do you think you're going to do? The only way you know how to show any type of affection is by getting me into bed. And we are not doing that again."

"I loved being with you in the bedroom," Kade says, testing out the word. It doesn’t feel as bad as he thought it would.

"Then why the hell did you need anyone else in it with you?" she asks. "Oh, wait, I know how you'll get out of that one. You didn't bring another woman into the bedroom. Not that I have personal proof of. No, you screwed her in the kitchen. She was your kitchen fling, and I was a bedroom fling."

He pauses, knowing he deserved that. He deserves so much more than that. "I hate what I did, Jess. I do. And I hate the part of myself that refused to let me give myself to you fully when I should have. You gave me an option, and I had something inside me too broken to see how much I need you. It took losing you from my life completely to really face everything wrong. It all starts with me."

"You have no idea how much I wished you came here and said just that to me," she says and lays the flowers down on the side table next to the front door. "How many nights I laid awake willing you to come here and tell me you made a mistake. But you didn't. And while you were off doing whatever with whomever, I met someone who wants to give me everything I gave you and never got in return."

"Look, I know I'm late to this, okay? I should have figured it out much sooner and come over, begging for another chance. But would you rather me do it before I was in a place where I could really give you what you needed and wanted from me? Before I could truly open myself up to you?"

---