Page 62 of Unofficial

He kisses her forehead and walks towards the door. "The sheets are in the dryer. I fell asleep before they were done, so I didn't fold them. Which might be for the best considering the last fight I got into with your fitted sheet."

Jess smiles at the memory of him trying to help her fold her bedding months ago. "Thank you, Kade."

"You're welcome. Anything, okay? If you need anything, call me. I'll be here with bells on."

The door shuts, and she lets the tears fall. There's no doubt in her mind he means it, but she just doesn't know if she can trust him again. Even after all this, she wants nothing more than to curl up into him and find comfort. But considering how much pain he put her through last time, who'll comfort her when it all comes crumbling down again?

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kade left Jessica's house Saturday mid-morning like she asked him to, but he'd had an uneasy feeling. Something in the way she spoke, and the tears in her eyes she didn't let fall, tells him she's scared and pulling away. This hasn't gone the way he'd anticipated in the slightest, and he knows he needs to talk to her.

When Jess didn’t reach out after he left that day, he could only hold out until Monday. She went back to work and had a lot of catching up to do, but they planned for him to come over to talk on Wednesday after work. Wednesday has now rolled around, and his stomach bounces around as he stands on her porch, waiting for her to open the front door.

"Hey," Jess says, standing before him in a cute black skirt and button up blouse tucked into the waist. She must’ve just gotten home because she hasn't changed yet.

"Hi," Kade says, his stomach knotting further.

She steps aside and lets him walk into the living room, where he immediately starts pacing. "Kade, are you okay?"

"You look pretty, Jess. You always look pretty, but I don't think I ever told you that enough."

Her eyes cast down at her outfit, and she giggles. "You saw me at my absolute worst, so I'd say almost anything compared to that is an improvement."

"You were beautiful, even then."

"Kade, what's going on?"

"That's why I'm here. I need to ask you that question."

Her head tilts, and he moves to sit on the couch. His pacing seems to make her nervous, so he sits and rests his elbows on his knees. His right one shakes so much the right side of his vision jumps with it.

"I'm not sure what you're asking me."

"I'm so confused, Jess. Why'd you kick me out on Saturday? It felt like things were moving forward, and it felt like things were falling back into place."

Jess swallows and looks at the ground. "I want to lie to you, Kade. I really do. It would make everything so much easier, but I can't. The feelings I've had for you since our third date came rushing back the moment you told me you wanted to try again, and it scares me. It took so much for me to push through when my heart broke, and I don't know if I can go through that again. To push down everything I felt for you and try to forget it again."

"I don't want you to push everything down and forget. And I don't want you to be scared about what you feel for me."

"But I am," she says, tears in her eyes but never falling. "You don't understand what the past four or five months have been like for me."

He stands and rests his hands on her biceps. As much as he doesn't want to know, he needs to hear it. To know if what he thought was right. "Tell me."

"Why do you want to do this?" she asks, pulling away from him and walking a few steps away. "We both know this idea you have about being a commitment guy will fade once you finally have me again. Why put ourselves through all of this again?"

"Because I am a commitment guy. For you. And I think the only way to move past everything is to know exactly what you went through. It'll probably kill me to hear, but it'll be what makes sure I never make you feel that way again."

Looking away, Jess crosses her arms under chest and sighs. "You really want to do this?"

"No, I don’t, but I need to."

"Walking into your place and seeing you with Lena was the most devastating thing I've ever had to experience other than my dad's death. I loved you, Kade. So much, and you just didn't care."

He shakes his head. "That's not true. I cared, Jess. I still do."

"You had no remorse. When we talked, you explained it away. That it wasn't as big of a deal as I felt it was because we weren't exclusive. You didn’t understand that I was exclusive. I was yours, but you were never fully mine. You wouldn't let yourself."

"I didn't show it, but I did feel remorse. I hated what I did, and I hated how what I did made you feel."

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