Page 67 of Unofficial

Kade nods and cups her face. "I never planned to let anyone in again, and then you happened. Getting attached to you was never part of my plan, and when I woke up one morning to realize it, I panicked. Then I made a stupid mistake, and you left me. Which was well deserved, and it set me on a path to figure out what the hell I actually wanted. I realized I wanted you, but I wasn't ready to be the man you needed yet. I never dealt with what happened with Sam until then, and that's why it took me months to reach out to you."

"I understand. Normally, I don't say this, but I kind of hate your ex. She ruined things for you, and it's not fair. You deserve so much better than she ever gave you."

He laughs. "And for you. Jess, I'm trying. I really am. I just need you to give me a little grace as I figure it all out again. It's been so long since I let myself want a future with someone, and I'm not really sure how to handle all of the feelings that come with it. But I can do commitment. There's just a fear of being hurt like I was that I needed to get over. And the thought of you with anyone else drives me absolutely crazy."

"What happened with Sam and Zach? Did they end up together?"

"Married with two kids. She's the CFO of his father's company while he's the President. She got the life she wanted with the man she wanted it with."

"I was hoping Zach dumped her, and she got fat. That sounds like a better ending than getting what she wants. I might just pretend that's what happened instead."

Rubbing his thumbs on her cheeks, he licks his lips. "Can you please give me a chance? A real chance? I don't blame you for being apprehensive and questioning if you can trust me again, but I promise, I'm trying. And I'm going to keep trying until you tell me to go to hell. I just need an opportunity to show you rather than just tell you."

She stares into his eyes, and he feels like time all but stopped as he waits for her answer.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jess stares at Kade. Everything he told her feels like the last piece of the puzzle she was missing in order to see the full picture that is him. Not only did his father betray him by killing his mom, the two people he should have been able to trust did one of the worst things someone can to do to someone they supposedly care about.

"Jess?" Kade asks, his hands still on her cheeks. "Say something. Please."

The whole situation has her feeling a little shell-shocked. This man was engaged. Almost married, but his actions weren't just selfish. He tried to protect himself like she has with her sixty-day rule, but he was a little more messed up.

Looking at the door, she lets out a breath. "Have you eaten tonight?"

"What?"

"Do you want to get something to eat? I haven't had anything since lunch, and I could really use a meal. Want to go out with me?"

"Yes," he says, sighing in relief. "Yes, I'll do whatever you want."

She stands and looks down at his face when he stays seated. "I know I promised not to ask anything after tonight, but I'm kind of still in shock with the bomb you just dropped on me. If I have questions later, would you hate me if I ask them?"

His body stiffens, and he stands. "I could never hate you."

"Does that mean I can ask them?"

"Yes."

Her hand reaches up and cups his face before kissing him softly. "I promise, it's not something I'll bring up to use as a weapon. It feels like you've finally opened up to let me all the way in, and I might just need a little more clarity to help connect some of the dots that are still a little fuzzy once the dust settles."

His arms wrap around and he holds her close. "Telling you wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I've kept it bottled up for so long that when it finally came out, I expected more of an explosion."

"Thank you for telling me, Kade."

Licking his lips, he kisses her, and she melts into him. He pulls back and looks into her eyes. "Thank you for making it feel safe to tell you."

They walk out to his pickup, and he holds the door open for her. She climbs inside, and she can't help the question that pops into her head.

"Do you still love her?" she asks the moment he climbs into his side.

Kade grips the steering wheel, and she has a momentary flashback to Landry when he confessed about his ex after he exploded. Kade's knuckles turn white, but he doesn't sound angry or annoyed like Landry did. He just sounds... sad.

"In a way, I think I will always love her to some degree. She was my first love. My first of many things, and she was one of the few people who showed me I could believe in someone after the shitstorm with my dad. But it also feels like another lifetime."

"If she came to you tomorrow and said she made a mistake, would you let her back in?"

He whips his head to face her, and she jumps. His hand grabs hers, and he looks at her with concern. "Jess? Did you think I was going to hit you?"

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