Page 8 of Unofficial

She licks her lips and looks at the table. "I still don't get it."

Well, unfortunately, neither does Kade, it seems. "I don't know what else to say."

"Why didn't you just tell me this the night we met? Or any of the other nights we spent together over the past five months? Or even during the conversations we had when we weren't together? Can you see where I'm confused? You brought me to meet your family and join you for plays and concerts. Everything you did and didn't do reads as a commitment, not something casual."

Damn it. Her logic is solid again. "I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't talk to me again. And I took you to those things because I liked spending time with you."

"I would’ve talked to you if you’d been honest with me. If you said you weren't the commitment type, I would've respected it. I would've told you I'm not a casual type of girl, and we could have been friends. Hell, I could've introduced you to a few girls who like to play the field, too."

Jess would have hooked him up with her friends? This definitely took a turn he hadn’t expected, and he definitely feels like a douchebag now. "I do like you, Jess."

"Just not enough. I'm not enough. What I can't seem to wrap my head around is why you didn't just wait for me to leave that morning after our first night together. I woke up with a bad feeling when I found you gone, but then you walked in with coffee and breakfast. You could've taken your exit, and I wouldn't have blamed you for my first one-night stand because there was no expectation then. Just hope."

Hope? She really knows how to hit him where it hurts. "Because I wouldn't have just left without any explanation after sleeping with you. Especially because it was so great. Besides, I wanted to see you again. I like you. You’re fun and smart and pretty. Why wouldn't I want to spend time with you?"

"Why do you need to spend time with other women if you like me so much? I mean, okay, I saw Lena. I kind of get what she has that I don't, but you make it sound like you genuinely enjoyed my company. And the sex wasn't terrible. You didn't quite jackhammer me like you did her, but she seemed to enjoy it."

Good God, if he thought the conversation was uncomfortable before, he had no idea what he was walking into. "I do enjoy your company. I don't compare women, and you and Lena have different personalities and attractive qualities. There was never a moment I was with her thinking about anything she had that you don't. And our sex life was more than 'wasn't terrible' as you put it. I'm not really sure what to say about the jackhammer comment, though. That's what you think I did?"

Jess shrugs. "Maybe it's because you never wanted to have sex with me in the kitchen. Why did it take you so long to reach out? Did you try and smooth things over with Lena first? Because she seemed pretty unwilling to talk to you, let alone give you the time of day after she left. Good for you, though. She was kind of out of your league."

"Ouch."

"You were out of my league, so who's the real loser here?"

"Jess, stop."

"Did you talk to Lena first? Is that why it took you so long to text me? Am I just the consolation prize?"

Lena wouldn't have answered if he tried calling. Not that he really wanted to. Besides, what could he really say to come back from the fact he told Jess she was his cousin? There's really no chance at redemption with that one.

"I haven’t called her. I didn't reach out to you right away because I kind of had my dignity stripped from me. The last thing I expected to happen is what did. On top of that, I used a pot to cover as much of myself as I could. Turns out, it wasn't a clean pot, either. I used it after you were there, and I was too lazy to clean it. It was great. Really fit the situation."

The comment doesn't elicit a smile like Kade hoped. Guilt plagues him yet again.

"You don't even feel remorse about it, do you?" Her hands move to rest on the top of the table, and he braces for liquid to hit his face.

When he doesn't feel anything or see her move for her beer, he relaxes. "I hate that I upset you. The last thing I want is to ever intentionally hurt you. I never would."

"But you don't feel anything about the fact you slept with other people without telling me where you believed we stood."

"We never talked about this, Jess. We should have, and I realize that now. Maybe I was avoiding it because I knew we wouldn't be on the same page, and you'd want to end things with me if you knew it, too."

Her hands tap the top of the table. "How many others were there?"

"Excuse me?"

"Over the past five months, how many others did you sleep with? Because I've been driving myself crazy thinking about it in my head all last night. I can't figure out when you had the time because we spent so much time together. And then we were talking constantly when we weren’t physically with each other. When you were running late, was it because you were with someone else? Then met up with me for round two? Or maybe I was round three for the day. I suppose you could’ve met someone over lunch."

Lena was the only woman other than Jess since the night he met her when she looked helpless on what appeared to be the world's worst date ever. He hadn't planned to see anyone else until it hit him one day just how serious they were getting when he put her toothbrush away after a night together. It scared him, and he did the one thing he knew he could do to remind himself of just who he really is.

"Jess, it's not like that."

"You have to choose, Kade."

"Choose?"

Her eyes finally lock with his again, and she sighs. "Do you want to continue seeing me, and me only? Or do you want to see other women?"

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