"I am," she says, suddenly aware of how terrible she must look. She hasn't showered in days, and she has no makeup on.
"Stop it," he says and sets the tray on her lap as she adjusts herself to sit upright.
Her eyes narrow. "Stop what?"
"Going over in your mind how terrible you look. I saw you touching your hair. You're beautiful."
His words make her heart flutter, and she can't look at him anymore. Instead, her eyes look down at the tray on her lap to avoid his handsome face. "Soup?"
"It's not homemade because you had nothing edible in your house when I cleaned out your fridge. And also because I have no idea how you go about something like this from scratch. I went to the deli on the corner and picked it up after I ran to the grocery store. I wasn't sure how your stomach feels, so there are also crackers and seltzer water."
He shopped for her? Tears spring from her eyes, and she has no control over them in her physically exhausted state. Her hands cover her eyes, and she breaks into full-on sobs.
Kade quickly grabs the tray from her lap and sets it on the floor. She feels him sit down on the bed next to her, but he doesn't touch her. "What's wrong? Do you want something else? I can go back to the store-"
Her arms wrap around his neck, and he wraps his own around her. She sobs into his shirt, both relieved and annoyed with herself. She hates letting anyone see her cry.
"Jess, what's going on? What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry," she says and pulls back, hanging her head and wiping her nose. He reaches over and grabs a tissue for her, and she almost starts crying again. "I'm so exhausted. This is really sweet, Kade."
His hand takes her chin and lifts her face to look at him, his eyes searching hers. "You're happy?"
"Appreciative," she says and giggles. "God, my entire body feels like it's been on a week-long bender, and I don't like it. I also don't cry in front of people."
"No, you don't," he says, his voice quiet as his hand drops from her chin and he looks away.
"What's wrong?"
Licking his lips, he stares at the soup on the floor. "It's going to get cold. Do you feel up to eating?"
"Kade, what's going on?"
His eyes find hers as he takes in a deep breath. "I heard you crying."
"When?" She racks her brain, but she can't remember a time she hid crying from Kade. The only time he ever made her cry was post-Lena, and even then, she didn't shed a tear until she was out of his condo.
"Um... the night you gave me my stuff back. I didn't leave right away, and I heard you through the door."
Oh, crap. She couldn't hold her emotions in, but she didn't think he was still there. Or that she could be heard through the door. The last thing she expected was for him to stick around after she shut the door in his face. "Oh."
"It's haunted me ever since."
His words take her by surprise. "What?"
"Hearing how upset you were, really hearing it, it did something to me. I'm used to women crying out of anger, but yours wasn't anger. Nothing you've ever really said to me was out of anger. It was pain, and I hate knowing I'm the one that caused it. I wanted to knock and force you to open up to let me comfort you, but at the time, it wouldn’t have helped. It would have only hurt more."
His confession knots her stomach. This is far too deep for her current state. "Can I try the soup?"
"Of course." Kade reaches down and grabs the tray, placing it back on her lap. He almost looks relieved.
"This looks good," Jess says and takes a tentative sip of the hot liquid. "It is good."
"I didn't put too much in the bowl because I wasn't sure how much you felt up to eating. But there's more in the fridge I can heat up, if you want."
Her stomach doesn't feel as queasy as it did earlier, but she doesn't want to risk eating too much. Even if she could, she didn't think she should try. "This is perfect. Thank you."
He stays silent as she eats slowly, finally stopping when half the bowl is gone. It tastes amazing, but she doesn't dare risk tasting it as it comes back up.