As he left, Juno pressed his fingers into his eyes and rubbed and rubbed until he saw stars. When he closed his left eye, the center wasn’t dark. It was still that greyish blob, which meant he was losing his ability to perceive light there. His stomach started hurting all over again.
Could he actually live like this?
For the first time since he was a moody, lost teenager, he wished he had family he could call. Being unceremoniously dumped and then ignored for most of his life didn’t give him any real connections. He’d looked up an aunt and a couple of cousins when he first aged out, but no one wanted to see him. His mom was the pariah of the family, and he was a reminder of her sins.
For a long time, he thought it was better not to know any of them. What good could they bring him if they treated him like the reminder of his mother’s mistakes?
Now, he was facing down this big, genetic thing, and he wondered if he had siblings facing the same condition as him.
He didn’t remember any brothers or sisters, but there was every chance that other kids had come before and after him. He thought about the little genetic testing kit that was sitting on his kitchen table. He’d bought it for himself six months before, as a birthday present since he rarely splurged on stuff he didn’t absolutely need.
He thought he could be brave about it the day it came in the mail, but he hadn’t touched it since.
Now, he was wondering if he should. Maybe it would bring him some peace.
Rolling up to sit, Juno forced himself to get out of the bed and walk into the bathroom. His face was splotchy from crying, and he had a dark, almost perfectly round hickey on the side of his neck. He pressed his thumb against it for long enough that pain sparked through his nerves. It was the good kind, though—the kind that reminded him someone wanted him.
Even if it wasn’t to keep him.
The thought of being with Piper forever made him feel like he was floating, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to condemn the man to life with someone who would always be a little bit of a hot mess. Even if he could be independent, he was going to lose important things.
And that wasn’t even touching on all the abandonment baggage he carried about being thrown into the system and unceremoniously forgotten by the people who were meant to care about him.
All of that should probably give Piper pause.
And that was assuming Piper wanted more than a hookup. Piper himself had admitted that he’d never done relationships before, and if Juno had learned one thing about himself, it was that he was never going to be the special one. He was not the kind of man who changed other people’s minds about love. So no matter how much he wanted Piper, the last thing he needed to do was get his hopes up that this meant anything.
Shoving all that out of his mind as best he could, he hopped under a cold spray and used some of Piper’s lavender soap to wash the bits of come off his body. The scent was soothing enough to make him feel a little sleepy, and he wrapped himself in a towel before finding his clothes on the floor. He fished a hair tie out and wrapped his hair in a sloppy bun before digging through Piper’s drawers. He found a pair of sweatpants that didn’t hang off him too badly, then snagged a Henley with it, letting the sleeves fall over his fingers. He took one last glimpse in the mirror, then opened the door and trailed a touch along the wall as he made his way back out into the living room.
Piper was bent over the coffee table, arranging all the food, his glorious ass just out there, so Juno rushed up and palmed it with both hands. Piper gasped and almost fell forward, but Juno managed to catch him before he toppled face-first into piping-hot burritos.
“Shit. I’m so sorry,” Juno said through nervous giggles.
Piper straightened out and looked over at him. “You really like seeing me fall on my face, don’t you?”
“Mostly, I just like your face,” Juno admitted, still laughing. “And your ass. I’d like to see more of that.”
Piper snagged him by the loose sleeves and wrapped Juno’s arms around his waist. He leaned down and kissed him softly until all the laughter had died away and all that was left was a quiet moan. “I like you too. And I really like seeing you in my clothes.” Piper gave him a sharp grin. “And I’d like to see more of that.”
Juno didn’t want to let himself read too much into that, but the way Piper was keeping him close, a dangerous spark of hope was starting to burn.
CHAPTER FOUR
It had taken almost an hour into Juno’s nap for Piper to stop absolutely reeling from the way Juno had fallen apart in his arms. When he’d shattered and started sobbing in Piper’s arms, that had nearly broken him. The only reason he didn’t panic was because he’d known Juno needed to let go of everything he’d been bottling up that day.
Juno had shouldered a ton of information without any real answers in such a short period of time, and he hadn’t given himself a chance to be angry, or sad, or properly scared.
It was all of those things that had Piper hesitant about wanting to fuck Juno in the first place. He wanted him more than he could say, but he had a feeling that the climax would make things complicated. And he’d been right. Juno had tried to apologize, but Piper hadn’t let him. He held him instead, kissed him, told him to let go. Then he waited until Juno was breathing steadily to slip out of the room so he could collect his thoughts.
Piper wanted this—whatever it was. He could be patient for Juno. He could be strong for him. Steady. So long as Juno wanted him back. The thought that this could be a onetime thing had his stomach twisting in knots, but he wasn’t going to push. Not now.
Then Juno had woken up, and he seemed much more like himself. He groped Piper’s ass, he laughed so hard there were tears in his eyes, and then he melted into Piper’s kisses. It settled him like nothing could.
Once they curled up on the couch with food, they ate in relative silence with a baking show that Juno had put on. It was domestic in ways Piper had never known before. Juno left his feet in Piper’s lap and grinned at him every time Piper’s fingers closed around the arch of his foot and squeezed. It was quiet, and it was lovely.
He never wanted it to end.
After a while, though, he could feel Juno getting restless. He changed positions several times, then eventually hopped up and grabbed one of Piper’s photo books before stretching out and pillowing his head on Piper’s lap. “What is this?”