Page 80 of Sin

I flinch at his words. The pain in his face is almost unbearable to see.

Ethan grimaces. “I came home, and all of your things were gone. It was hell, Lily. Worse than?—”

When he shuts his eyes, bewilderment expands like a balloon within me. “Worse than what?” Oh no. Guilt sinks my gut like a stone. How could I have forgotten that his dad left him and his mom so suddenly? How he’d been the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him when he told me that story. “Like when your dad left.”

He inhales a shaky breath. “My mom and I came home from an away game one weekend, and…” He shakes his head. “You can probably guess the rest.”

I didn’t think at all. I was making a statement. This is what happens when you cross me, Ethan Harrington.

It was thoughtless and selfish.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.” My voice barely carries over the breeze that has picked up and is rustling the leaves around us. “I didn’t think…” I shut my eyes, straining to find the words. “I left your house because I was pissed off. That was as far as I thought. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, but I felt so… I still feel so…betrayed.”

Ethan grunts, shaking his head. “Strange that someone standing up for you would make you feel betrayed, especially when you don’t seem to have any desire to stand up for yourself.”

Anger flares suddenly, dampening my sympathy. How dare he call me out because my beliefs don’t happen to match his. The truth is he broke a promise to me, and he still won’t own up to it.

He’s rigid and stubborn. He would walk all over me if I let him.

I push myself off the boulder and march in his direction, stopping inches away from his chest. His musky scent washes over me, reminding me of his crazy sprint up the trail. My God, he really is soaked from head to toe in sweat. I’d probably laugh if I weren’t ready to bite his head off.

“I do stand up for myself,” I say. “And my own needs, which you completely ignored when you punched Mason. I don’t need to prove anything to you. I never claimed to have my shit together.”

His eyes narrow. “What if there are others, Lily?”

I frown. “What do you mean, others?”

“What if you’re not the only woman Mason’s hurt? Hell, think about the women he might hurt in the future. Would you be willing to stand up for them?”

His words hit me like a slap. Dizziness descends over me, causing the world around me to spin and distort.

Other women.

Why have I never thought of that before? My stomach churns at the thought of them—maybe a freshman, young and scared, caught in the same nightmare. An eighteen-year-old version of me flashes in my mind. How would she have handled it?

She didn’t know herself yet. Going to parties and getting drunk were her way of adjusting to the overwhelming new world around her. If someone had hurt her deeply, she would have been lost.

Is there a girl like her out there somewhere on campus that feels alone and vulnerable? I see her lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Every small noise in the hallway makes her jump. She’s wondering if this is the new normal, if she’ll live the rest of her life in fear, exhaustion, and bone-deep loneliness.

I’m going to be sick.

“Lily.” Ethan’s voice is a caress. He reaches out and strokes my cheek with his fingers. “My sweet, sassy girl. It wouldn’t be your fault. I didn’t mean that.”

My eyes mist over, and I take a steadying breath. “I want to go home.”

He stares at me for a moment before nodding. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Ethan

I grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white, the muscles in my forearms straining. My gaze darts in Lily’s direction. She’s as still and quiet as the dead. It’s so unlike her, and it’s all my fault. With careless words, I tossed a heavy burden on her shoulders that doesn’t belong there.

I never should have brought up the possibility of Mason hurting other women. She’s not responsible for him doing anything to anyone else. Quite the opposite. It’s people like me—unharmed by the perpetrator—who need to take a stand.

As we pull up in front of the sorority house, my throat tightens. I swallow hard and turn to her, and my heart sinks. She looks so small, so fragile. The need to reach out and touch her, to offer comfort, is overwhelming.

I don’t have the right, and it’s a physical pain in my chest.

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