Page 40 of Crossed Up

Stroking a gentle hand down her messy hair, I sigh heavily. “Lyla, you were so dehydrated you were delirious, and we almost had to take you to the hospital. If the doc hadn’t been able to get the IV in you when he did, there could have been a serious problem.”

I know I’m being stubborn, but fuck, seeing her so sick twisted something inside of me, and I haven’t been right since. I’ve seen the guys, Wren, and even Crew sick plenty of times, but never so sick that they couldn’t open their eyes or hold their own heads up. I had to pull over for her to throw up five times on the way home, and each time, she seemed a little weaker and a little more out of it.

I was so tense by the time the team doctor got here that I developed a raging headache I’m still struggling with today. The concern in his eyes as he examined Lyla did exactly nothing to ease my worry for her, and that moment solidified what I already knew. I’m completely gone for this girl.

“But he did, and I feel much better today. I swear, I wouldn’t lie to you after seeing how worried you were when I woke up yesterday. I even skipped coffee to give my body a chance to rehydrate properly. And I haven’t gone a day without coffee in like… eight years. There’s nobody else I would give up coffee for just to ease their worry, Aid.”

Even though it’s dumb, my chest swells with pride, knowing she cares about my opinion so much that she’s willingly giving up her beloved caffeine. Even if it's just for one morning, that still means more to me than she’ll ever know.

“And I appreciate you making such a hefty sacrifice to alleviate my worry, Ly, but I can’t just turn it off. Not after seeing you completely out of it on the floor of a cramped airplane bathroom.”

She brings her hands up to cover her flushed cheeks, and I instantly feel like a dick. I didn’t mean to embarrass her or make her feel bad. I just want to make sure she’s taking this seriously.

“Aidan, I’m sorry you had to see that, and I’m even more sorry you had to take care of me in that condition after literally one date, but it’s not like it was some life-threatening illness. It was food poisoning. And yeah, it got kind of bad, but I’m almost back to normal today, and I would love to forget it ever happened.”

I start to get frustrated because she’s just not listening, but I shove it down. “Lyla, you weren’t awake when the doctor was examining you, and I don’t think you realize just how bad off you actually were. Do you remember me carrying you to and from the truck to puke up stomach acid on the way home? Do you remember your legs going out from under you on our way to the front door after you insisted you could walk?”

Her eyes widen with each new thing I list and it’s clear she doesn’t remember a single one of them. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m being an overbearing prick, but Jesus Christ, Lyla. You weren’t okay, and seeing you like that scared the hell out of me! I’ve had enough people die on me. I really don’t need to add another person to the list because you insist on not taking care of yourself!”

My chest is heaving by the time I finish, and the room is eerily silent. Lyla’s eyes are wide, and her pale lips are parted in shock, but I can’t bring myself to stick around and hear whatever she has to say. Panic is turning my blood to ice, and I need to get out before I lose it.

“I’m going to go for a run in the basement. If Dom and Kaci show up early, let me know.”

I know I’m being rude, but I can’t seem to find my rational thoughts at the moment. Too many things about this situation remind me of Mia and even of my father, and it’s messing with my head to the point where I know I need to get away from Lyla, or I’ll say something I shouldn’t.

I don’t even bother changing out of my shorts and muscle tee before making my way down to the home gym I had built in the basement, knowing this is pretty much what I work out in anyway.

An incessant itch under my skin drives me to run, push, and forget the memories clawing at the locked metal box in my brain where I keep them for my own sanity.

Skipping my typical warmup, I hop on the treadmill and start at a dead sprint, knowing the pain and exhaustion it will bring are my only chance of pushing the demons back right now. Sweat pours down my forehead after only ten minutes, and I regret not stopping to put on my headband.

When my eyes start to sting from the sweat, I huff and pull the safety cord to bring the treadmill to a stop before using one hand to grip the back of my shirt and rip it over my head. A quiet gasp catches my attention as I’m mopping my face with the shirt, and I look up to see Lyla’s heated gaze staring back at me through the wall-to-wall mirrors.

Without taking my eyes off hers, I drag the sweaty tee down my chest with a smirk, letting my knuckles graze my abs on the way down. I work hard for the body I have, and if my girl wants to admire me, I’ll do whatever I have to to encourage it. Especially if it helps keep the memories at bay.

“See something you like, angel?”

Her cheeks flame immediately, making my smirk stretch into a full-blown smile. Now that most of my earlier frustration has drained away, I owe her an apology. Just as I go to speak, however, she surprises me.

“I’m sorry for not being more appreciative of everything you did to take care of me, Aidan. Growing up, any illness was downplayed or brushed under the rug, so I’m not used to anyone caring enough to be upset when I don’t take good enough care of myself.”

So many things about the last few weeks start to make sense when she tells me that, and though it’s a relief to learn more about her, it pisses me off that she had so little support growing up. What kind of parent doesn’t take care of their sick child?

Moving slowly, I approach her with my arms open, leaving the choice up to her if she wants to hug me or not.

I can’t contain my sigh of relief when she willingly walks into my arms and wraps hers around my back. With her nose buried in my chest, I can smell her perfume, and it calms me further.

“You never have to apologize to me, angel. I was lucky and had my mom who constantly fussed over my brother and me when we were sick, but I was ignored in pretty much every other aspect of my life unless I was playing ball. I know what it’s like to be swept aside, and I promise you’ll never feel that with me. Whether we’re friends or more.”

My next words are a risk, but I never claimed to be smart.

Leaning down close so my lips meet her ear, I put myself out there and pray this doesn’t backfire. “And if you want to take a break and have somebody take care of you for a change? Well, let’s just say I’m happy to be Crew’s dad and your Daddy.”

18

LYLA

At Aidan’s murmured words, a memory comes rushing back from our time on the plane, and my cheeks heat to inferno-levels of hotness. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mortified in all twenty-three years of my life.

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