Page 59 of Crossed Up

My cheeks flame as my lips part in surprise.

Okay, guess we’re diving right in then.

Crew’s little face scrunches up in contemplation before he nods excitedly. “Uncle Rho told me all about girlfriends! He said I’ll probably have one when I go to school. He said when you really like someone, you ask her to be your girlfriend! He also said sometimes boys kiss their girlfriends, but that’s gross, Dad.”

Aidan snickers at his son’s shudder of disgust. I just smile because I love this age. Kids are so open and expressive with their emotions and opinions, and the thought of like-liking the opposite sex is still horrifying.

“That’s right. When you’re an adult and you find a girl you really like, you can ask her to be your girlfriend.”

Crew just nods like this is obvious, but a suspicious look crosses his face that makes him look far older than six. “Do you want a girlfriend, Daddy?”

Aidan shakes his head slowly. “Actually, raptor, Lyla is my girlfriend now.” He pauses to let the information sink in and check with me before his next words, and I nod. I’ll go along with whatever he wants to tell him right now, and we can figure out logistics later.

“Is that okay with you? Nothing is going to change right now. She’s still going to live here and be your nanny, but she’s also going to sleep in my room sometimes, and you’ll probably see me kiss her.”

I’m bracing for a negative reaction to the bomb his father just dropped, but what I’m not prepared for is the undeniable hope shining back at me from wide, unblinking blue eyes.

“Does this mean you’re going to be my mommy?” he whispers. The hope I saw in his eyes is reflected so clearly in his words that tears instantly fill my eyes to the brim before spilling over.

I have no idea how to answer him and I don’t want to overstep so I look to Aidan for help only to see his own eyes glassy with unshed tears. I haven’t even told him I love him back yet, and we’re still so new.

He leans forward, enveloping us both in his long arms as he kisses Crew on the head. Ice blue irises flash with a determination that should make me nervous but instead fills me with a newfound sense of hope. Hope for us, for the future, and all the things I wanted so desperately growing up but was never lucky enough to have.

I pull Crew even tighter to my side without breaking eye contact with Aidan and speak the words I’ve been too afraid to say until now. “I don’t know if I’ll get to be your mommy, Crew. But I think being your mom would be the best thing I’ve ever been lucky enough to do.”

26

AIDAN

A loud text tone startles us out of our little bubble on the swing, and when I see Copeland’s contact name, I’m instantly on alert.

Detective Cope

Hey man, are you guys home? I have some stuff to show Lyla and I assume you’ll want to see it too

Me

Yeah, we’re home. Come on over

Detective Cope

Be there in ten

The curiosity in Lyla’s gaze turns to concern when she sees the look on my face, but I watch her push it down and focus on Crew. When he asked her again if she was going to be his mom, my heart broke into a million pieces and healed in a single moment.

I’ve never wanted something as much as I want Lyla, and to know that my son, the most important person in my life, loves her as much as I do? It’s something I only imagined in my wildest dreams.

Which is why I’m so concerned about Copeland’s text. Our little family is brand new, and the thought of anything happening to my girl terrifies me down to my damn bones. The fear of losing Lyla is on par with the fear of losing Crew. And just thinking about the effect that losing her would have on him has anxiety rising dangerously close to the surface.

Small hands trail up my sides and come to rest on my pecs, her left hand landing directly over the inked date on my chest. It doesn’t escape my notice that the two loves of my life share a birthday. I was never a big believer in fate, destiny, or the universe, but I can’t help but feel like Lyla was meant to be ours.

I heave a sigh, and she definitely doesn’t miss it because her arms tighten around me. “What’s going on, Aid?”

“Copeland texted. He’s on his way over. Apparently, he has something he thinks we need to see.”

Her body stiffens against my back, so I grip one of her cold hands in mine and pull her so we’re chest to chest. My hands move to cup her cheeks in a gesture meant to reassure myself as much as her. “Whatever it is, we’ll handle it together. Okay, angel? You’re mine, and ain't letting some egotistical asshat anywhere near my girl.”

A small smile breaks across her delicate features. “I love it when you call me your girl.”

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