Page 94 of Revenge

“How are things?” I ask Anita.

“Ms. O’Brien, would you like some lemonade?” Mary asks.

“That will be great, Mary,” I say, sitting at the breakfast table.

“Nothing new. I’ve been thinking of redoing the dining room,” Anita says.

“That sounds fun. Here, I’m just trying to get through the day.” She laughs.

“Do you need some help? Are the nannies not working out?” she asks more seriously, concern written all over her face.

“They’re fine. But I just can’t explain it. It’s like I want to make sure the babies are good myself. I think I’m crazy.”

“Not at all. It’s normal for a new mother to think only she knows what’s best for her child. But you don’t want to burn yourself out. You need to let them help you.”

“I know. I can’t help it. The babies are my world.”

Mary sets a glass in front of me.

“Ava—”

“Yes?”

“I want to thank you for caring for and loving Aisling like she’s yours. I can’t imagine it’s easy since she’s Fiona’s daughter. You’re an amazing woman.” She squeezes my hand.

“But it is easy. Aisling is an amazing little girl. I can’t imagine my life without her. It’s like she’s as much mine as Niko. I could care less that Fiona is her mother.”

“It’s wonderful. Viktor is lucky to have found you. I don’t know many women who would do what you’re doing.” I smile and don’t say anything. As much as I love Viktor, I can’t allow myself to let him in. For my sake, I can’t think of a life with him.

“Is Tina still joining us?” I ask, changing the subject.

“I believe so,” Anita answers, knowing, I’m sure, I don’t want to talk about Viktor anymore. In fact, it’s hard talking about him because every time I do, I have to face the truth that Viktor and I can’t ever be more than just co-parents. It’s hard knowing that we have too many obstacles standing in our way. I’m not sure we will ever get past them.

Tina, Anita and I spend a few hours chatting away. I excused myself to feed the babies while they plan a get-together for later this week. They want some of the Manarch family to come over to meet Niko. I’m not too keen on it. I’m not sure I want any Manarchs to be part of Niko’s life besides the immediate family. I was going to object, but I’m sure Viktor will once he finds out about their plans. I finally put Aisling down and make my way downstairs with both baby monitors. It makes me realize this house isn’t set up for babies. This going up and down the stairs isn’t productive at all, and it’s exhausting. I go to the living room where Anita and Tina are talking.

“Finally, it took you long enough,” Tina says.

“You realize I have two babies.” I startle myself with the confession. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that. You know what I mean,” I say, a little embarrassed, but Anita smiles at me lovingly. “What are you both talking about?” I quickly change the subject.

“We were talking about you having to go up and down the stairs for the kids,” Tina answers.

“Actually, I was just thinking the same thing as I was coming downstairs.” I sit. “This house isn’t exactly designed for my needs. Not with two babies, at least.”

“You can change that,” Anita says.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Remodel the house to suit your needs. What are some of the obstacles you’re facing?”

“I haven’t really given it much thought. For starters, I guess it would be nice if Niko and Aisling’s bedrooms were next to each other. Maybe a shared bathroom between the bedrooms would make things easier, and a large nursery on this floor so I don’t have to go up and down if we have company.” I confess.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Viktor asks, interrupting me as he enters the living room. When did he get home? “Hi, Mom, Tina.” He hugs her.

“I think because she’s been a little too busy taking care of your children to think about it,” Tina answers sarcastically.

“How about you don’t speak for Ava.” His voice is deep and commanding, waking my libido. I have to remind my libido what the truth is. Simmer down libido. You and Viktor aren’t together.

“Settle down, you two,” Anita says.

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