Page 12 of PenPal Hero

You’re my reason, Holt.

The thought hit her like a punch in the gut. She wanted to be well and whole again for his sake. For both their sakes.

“You don’t, actually, have to do anything,” he countered. “I’m serious, Bonnie. I’ll be there in two snaps if you just say the word.”

“I want to take you up on your offer. So badly,” she wailed. “But I don’t need you to. What I need to do is face…whatever this is. Whatever’s been holding me back.” Ugh! I sound so cringy right now.

“I’ll support whatever you decide,” he returned cautiously. “As long as you’re sure about it.”

She gritted her teeth. “I am.” I will be.

“What about dinner time?” he inquired in a lighter voice. “Think you might be free by then?”

“I might be dead,” she reminded with a nervous chuckle. “But yes. If, by some miracle, I survive the rigors of today’s activities, I’ll be free for dinner.”

“It’s a date.” He sounded jubilant.

Don’t I wish! “Fair warning. My brothers will skin me alive if I leave Anderson Ranch without telling them.” Jackson would personally do the skinning. With a sigh of resignation, Bonnie tossed the itinerary back on her nightstand.

“How about I come there instead?” A cajoling note crept into his voice. “Have you eaten at the steakhouse downstairs yet?”

“Yes and no. They’ve been seating us in a private room with a buffet line, so I’ve sampled only bits and pieces of their full menu.” She’d walked through the main restaurant several times, though, on her way to the elevators. She loved their country chic decor — from the deer antler chandeliers overhead to the pine bough centerpieces on the tables.

“Have you sampled their steak?” He sounded hungry already.

“So far, they’ve served us steak tips, beef ribs, smoked salmon, and chicken strips.” She ticked off the entrees on her fingers.

“Yeah, you still need to try their famous T-Bone steaks.” His voice grew brisk. “I can be there at six o’clock. Will that work for you?”

As long as I’m still alive? Yes. “I can’t wait.” She stifled a shiver.

“Oh, and, Bonnie?” Holt’s voice grew husky again. “Don’t die on me, you hear?”

“No promises.” Her knees already felt shaky.

“That’s not good enough,” he growled. “In case you can’t tell, I’m falling for you. Meeting you and becoming your pen pal is the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time, and I’m not ready to give that up.”

“Aww!” His words were so sweet that the tears prickling behind her eyelids started dripping down her cheeks. “I’ll, um, do my best to power through.”

“That’s better.”

Her tears continued to fall after they hung up. She wasn’t sure why, but she wept the entire time she was getting dressed. Her eyes grew so red rimmed that it was pointless to put on any makeup. Despite how distraught she was, it felt like she’d finally made a little progress toward recovery. It was the first time she’d made a conscious decision to face the fears she’d been living with for the past six years. She hoped like crazy that grabbing them by the horns would help break whatever horrific hold her missing memories still had on her.

“I’m so ready to be well again, God,” she blubbered as she pulled on her socks. “I’m done being weak and vulnerable. I’m done watching my brothers look at me like a bomb that could explode at any second.” The itinerary for the day had instructed her to wear gym clothing, so she selected a pair of black running pants and a pink tank top. As usual, she twisted her wavy chestnut hair into braids. Then she stepped into her slip-on sneakers.

Her eyelids were so puffy that she lingered in her room longer than she’d originally planned to. She alternated between pressing a damp cloth to her face and waving her hands at her eyes. Eventually, the pink splotchiness faded. She sped it along by applying some concealer makeup and mascara.

Then she opened the door of her suite and stepped into the hallway.

Alice was leaning against the opposite wall, tapping the toe of one of her tennis shoes — tennis shoes with wedge heels that added a few inches to her height. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun atop her head, probably for the same reason.

She moved across the hallway and enclosed Bonnie in a hug.

Bonnie momentarily rested her head against her boss’s shoulder. “I take it Holt called you?”

“He did.” Alice hugged her tighter. Then she dropped her arms and stepped back. “If you really don’t want to participate in today’s team building?—”

“I do.” Bonnie nodded her head fiercely. “I’ll admit I’m terrified, but I’m sick and tired of feeling this way. I’m ready to face it, if that makes any sense.”

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