Page 55 of All of You

“Yep. She got worried when I didn’t answer my phone. After the last year or so, we have an agreement that I will always answer within a half hour if it’s after work hours. If I don’t, she gets worried.”

Something sad or guilty flickered over his face, and that familiar pull to him, the desire to hold him and kiss away all the hard things he’d dealt with, tugged at me again. It didn’t work that way, sure—I knew it, but it didn’t change me from wanting to try.

“So when you didn’t answer, she hunted you down.”

“Yeah. I sent Bea the itinerary so at least someone would know where I was… just in case, you know? They like to know what I’m up to, but Bea is the least likely to blab since she barely talks anyway.”

“Why?” I asked, curious about Beatrice. He’d mentioned her a few times, but he mostly talked about Bridgette.

“She’s just shy. Very, very shy. Introverted, not big on people or… most things.” He smiled to himself and sat next to me on the couch.

“What’d she say when you told her we were dating?” I wanted to know what he’d said about all this, but didn’t know how to ask for those details.

“She was quiet, but didn’t seem surprised, which is sweet. Bridgette was a bit more incredulous—had a lot of questions.”

His cheeks flamed adorably, and I set my book down and turned toward him to face him.

“What questions did she ask?” I was snuggled into the couch now, knees and dress tucked under me, one elbow propping up my head on the back of the couch, the other hand resting on my knees.

I wanted him to take that hand. I wanted it to be his to take.

“She hit me with a whole list. Who, what, when, where, why, how.”

I laughed as he listed them.

“Yeah, she’s nosy.”

“She sounds like a very engaged big sister.”

He nodded. “She is. She still worries about me… I know Bea does too. But I can finally tell them I’m not worried about me—at least, not in the way I used to be.”

I took his hand in mine and folded our fingers together. “How do you feel about that?”

“I understand why they worry. I do. I know I was in a bad place, and they needed to worry about me, or I gave them a reason to. And Dillon’s sister Bec, she’s someone I worry for. I know that the time passing doesn’t necessarily erase that worry.”

“That’s wise of you. Are you close with Bec?” I asked, working to keep my tone neutral.

“I don’t think Bec is especially close with anyone. Thatcher and I have tried, but I know being with us hurts her in some way, reminds her of her brother and makes her feel the loss even more. She doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong, but when you talk to her, you can see it. You can feel the ache in her, even if she won’t let you acknowledge it.”

I studied his face for a moment, wishing I had the strength to stop myself from asking the next question. “Do you love her?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Ben

My face had to show my surprise.

“No. Well, maybe in some ways, because I loved Dillon as a close friend and some of that has transferred to her, I guess. They were twins—look a lot alike, but I think part of me feels that brotherly love for her. But I—my interest in her isn’t like that.”

I held Whit’s gaze steadily, making sure she understood. Making sure there was no chance she’d think I was interested in anyone but her.

“I’m sorry you worry for her. That must be hard,” she said, her voice soft and smooth.

I took a long, slow breath. “Yeah. It’s frustrating—there’s no good way to help someone when they refuse to acknowledge their need for help. Until then, I’ll pray for her, and show up whenever I can.”

Whit’s eyes sparkled back at me. “You’re a good man, Benjamin Michael Holder.”

My stomach dropped out at her saying my full name.

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