Page 97 of All of You

“Listen to me right now, and believe what I am saying.”

I waited, quiet, not a blink.

“I didn’t lie to you about dating you. I didn’t lie to you about caring for you. I didn’t do it for a stupid stunt, and I didn’t mean for it to hurt you.” Her voice cracked as emotion swelled, but she swallowed it down and continued. “I had to tell you the truth that night because I’d realized I was in love with you, and I didn’t want to fail you by lying, and I didn’t want to miss thanking the person that inspired me originally, and who had inspired me so much since.”

My hands were locked into fists at my sides—I couldn’t move them. I could hear the words, but my heart didn’t dare believe them.

But why not? She had no reason to lie at this point. Did she?

“I messed up, and I’m sorry. I didn’t handle it well because I’ve never been here before.” She held out her hands, palms up, like she’d emptied everything out. “I’m sorry, but you have to know that I didn’t mean to use you that way—not the way you mean. And I do care about you. Very much.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Whit

Ipulled at the door knob, fumbling, but got it open, my hopes crumbling and my eyes filling with tears.

Before I got it fully open, Ben was at my back, pushing the panel closed. He’d come at me so quickly, he’d knocked me forward, but grabbed my arm to keep me from running into the wall. He pulled on it until I turned.

I wasn’t sure what I expected, but seeing him so close, even with all his anger and frustration directed at me, was no less affecting than usual. He had coarse stubble covering his cheeks and jaw, his hair was short, and his face looked lean, hard, and very un-Ben.

“Why would you say that to me?” he asked, his voice a low slice into the air between us.

“I—I said a lot of things, all of them true.”

“Why would say you love me? What does that get you?” he asked, his eyes frantically searching between mine.

That look, that question, made me lose the reins on my tears. “It doesn’t get me anything. I said it because I love you. Because it’s true.”

His face was so serious, so sad, all I wanted was to pull him to me and kiss him, calm him, make him know the way I knew.

“I’m so mad at you, I don’t even know where to start,” he said, his voice quiet.

“Tell me. Just… start.” Because if he was talking, I could take it. Maybe we could take it.

“I hate that you told me in front of everyone. I hate that you didn’t make me stay with you that night—pin me down or something and force me to understand. I have missed you so much.”

He crushed me to him in a hug so tight, all air left my lungs. Then he drew back.

“I am frustrated that I don’t know if I can trust you, and I’m mad at myself for wanting to be able to.”

Hope bloomed. His perpetual honesty and his anger and all of it gave me hope, it being so much better than that blank defeat he’d given me in the hotel room back in LA.

“You can trust me. I haven’t lied about anything else. Truly. Nothing. I avoided telling you about meeting before, and that was huge. I lied by omission, and it was unacceptable. But nothing else has been false between us, except maybe the attempt at being just friends who were fake-dating because that was ridiculous. But nothing else.”

Adrenaline coursed through me as I watched his face, saw as his eyes moved over my features, hesitating on my lips, as his hands gently squeezed where they rested on my upper arms. I prayed with all my heart he would hear the truth in my words and believe me.

“I want to believe you,” he said, stepping closer, like he couldn’t help it.

My heart tripped in my chest, my breath unsteady in my mouth. He had to know this was all real.

“I want you to believe me. Ask me anything, I’ll tell you the truth.” His beautiful blue eyes were so intense, I couldn’t look away.

“Did you plan on that speech at the awards all long?”

“No.”

“Why did Nikki have me re-sign the confidentiality agreements?”

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