Page 108 of The Sound Of Us

“Fraaaannnnkkkk.” Every mocking word. Every slice of his palm across my cheek. Every punch. Kick. Every derogatory word spoken over me.

“Fraaaannnnkkkk.” Every vile moment when I thought I loved him. When I thought he loved me. Every promise I believed.

“Fucking Fraaaannnnkkkk.” My head is exploding. The tight ball in my chest squeezes until I can’t breathe.

I gasp for air while he drops onto the bed with a smile on his face, watching me as if I’m giving him a performance for his pleasure.

That satisfied smirk shatters my brain like a physical injury. He’s looking at me like he’s got me right where he wants me. He does. Frank is the most calm, reasonable, polite human being right after he’s berated me into insanity.

Whirling around, I tug at the door handle. “Let me out of here. Let me the fuck out of here.” I’m so out of my depth.

“Fraaaannnnkkkk.”

“Eliiiiiii.”

“Fraaaannnnkkkk, open this fucking door right fucking now.” Snot flies out of my nose, landing on my lips. I don’t care anymore. I need to get out of here. “Let me fucking go, Frank.”

“You’re fucking crazy, Axel,” he says to my back. Anyone looking inside this moment would think he’s the abused one and I’m the crazy abuser.

I spin around. “I’m not crazy,” I scream. “I’m not fucking crazy.”

“Yes, you are,” he says with that same infuriating calm. That evil smirk I’ve come to hate.

“I’m not,” I scream. “You do this to me. You make me like this. I’m so fucking tired.”

“Just calm the fuck down, Ax. You’re fucking insane. Look at the way you’re behaving. I’m gonna take a video of you and show everyone how fucking nuts you are.”

“You have me locked up here. That’s a fucking crime. I need you to let me the fuck out of this house, Frank.”

“Why? So you can run back to your little deaf fucktoy? Or are you his fucktoy? You’re lucky I’m even letting you stand here right now. Tell me something, Ax, how many times did you fuck him?”

I have lost my mind. “Every fucking chance I got,” I scream. “I fucked him every fucking chance I got.” And since I’ve lost my mind, I carry on. “What about you, Frank? Those condoms? They weren’t Peter’s. Or Scotty’s or Kenny’s. They were yours, weren’t they? You cheated too, didn’t you? You cheated first.”

“I’d like to see you prove that,” he drawls.

Oh fuck me, that fucking calmness of his. “Well, I used them, Frank,” I scream. “I fucking used them when Eli fucked me. He fucked me with your fucking condoms, Frank.”

“You’re a fuckin’ disgrace to this town, Ax. What will people think of you when they find out? You’d better tell them you fucking messed up, and that I had the fuckin’ decency to forgive you.”

“Forgive me?”

“Yeah, Axel. I’m gonna give you another chance. You’ve talked a lot of shit like a crazy person the last few minutes, but I’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t want another chance,” I breathe. “I want to leave.”

“No, you don’t. You’re not thinking rationally.”

I’ve never felt as in charge of my faculties as I do right now.

“You don’t deserve it because you fucking cheated on me, Axel, but I’m going to try to make it work. It’s the best I can offer you.”

What?

“So you can’t see that deaf cunt anymore. I hope he’ll leave soon, anyway.”

“I want to be with Eli,” I say bravely. I’m beginning to calm down. Conviction is beginning to take root.

“Do you really think he’s going to care about an invalid in a couple of months?”

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