Page 112 of The Sound Of Us

“I already said I’ll give you another chance, Ax. You want to hear the words?” His hands are still up, palms facing me, and his eyes soft and gentle. “Okay. Fine. I forgive you. I forgive you for cheating on me. You wanna know why, Ax? It’s because I can’t imagine my life without you. I’ll forgive anything to make sure we’re together. You’re the only ray of sunshine in my life, Ax. You understand me like no one else. You know about my rotten childhood, about my crazy father. You know everything, Ax, and you still accept me.”

“Lies,” I hiss.

“It’s the past that fucked me up, Ax, but you understand me. You’re the only one who gets me. No one understands me like you, Ax. I’ll die without you. If you leave me, I’ll kill myself. I swear, Ax, I need you that much.”

“Stop calling me Ax,” I shout. I don’t know what else to say to make him stop talking.

“Okay. Axel. I’ll call you Axel, okay? Axel, give us another chance. We can make it. I’ll go to therapy for all that childhood shit you were always telling me about. I’ll be better, Axel. Don’t you see how I’m already trying? I’m not ever going to talk about you and that deaf—about Eli Saxon. You’ll never have to worry about me bringing it up.”

Liar. The roar lies heavy on my chest. He could never let me forget my fling with James, and that happened long before he ever knew me.

“I love you, Axel.”

“This is not love,” I scream.

Mrs. Dalton’s words smash into my mind. Don’t engage. Set your boundary and leave. The only solution is to leave. Even if it’s with just the clothes on your back. Leave or it will never end.

Don’t engage. Set your boundary.

“I want to be with Eli,” I say with a pathetic tremble in my voice. I have to say at least this.

“You’ll gradually get over the novelty,” he says calmly, but I have too much experience with this. The flash of fury in his eyes doesn’t escape my seasoned observation.

“You’re dying of cancer, Axel. No one wants that responsibility. But me? I’ll take care of you.”

“Eli will be with me while I die,” I choke out.

“He won’t. I promise you that, Axel.”

I shout again, my hands shaking from being raised up. His voice is so soft and sincere, so filled with compassion. If you didn’t know Frank. But I know. Another mangled shout slips through my teeth.

“He will.”

“Okay, then if he cared so much about you, where is he, Axel? Why isn’t he here? He just needed a holiday fuck. Someone to keep him warm while he did god-knows-what down there by the lake. It’s not your fault, baby. You’re so innocent. You couldn’t have known.”

“He came looking for me.”

“Well, he left. I went down there with some of my buddies. There was no one there. No truck, nothing. Someone saw him take the highway and you know when someone takes the highway from here that means only one thing, Axel, right?”

The airport.

I refuse to buy into these lies. And even if they’re true, I still can’t stay here.

“I’m leaving, Frank. Not just for Eli. For me, too. For me, especially.”

My hands drop. I straighten them again. “Go into the living room, Frank.”

I need to get this fucking door unlocked.

“You’re making a mistake, Axel.” But he takes a step back.

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

I hold the gun in one hand and reach behind me with the other. I don’t know if Frank’s obedience is because he’s afraid I have the balls to actually shoot him or if I might accidentally shoot him because I’m so unhinged.

I manage to get the door open with the keys in my hand. Pepper bolts outside, barking at me like crazy.

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