Page 43 of The Sound Of Us

“Even if it were possible, Ben, I’d never take your money or ask you to leave your home just because Frank gets out of hand sometimes. Besides, he didn’t make me do it.”

“Oh, then you just decided you don’t want your hair anymore?”

“Yeah.” Because I cheated. I let another man touch me. No, I begged another man to touch me.

“I don’t buy any of that bullshit. And don’t talk to me about Frank just getting out of hand. That man is an abuser. He’s a fucking narcissist.”

“A what?”

“A fucking narcissist. If I wasn’t your best friend, even I would have a hard time believing some of the things he does to you. He’s such a fucking snake. You need to stop defending him.”

I consider just telling Ben the real reason, but I… I like this secret.

“Do you want more hardbacks out front?” I ask.

Ben sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah. Line up the new Booktok ones on the left.”

Chapter 22

Eli

I haven’t seen Axel since he kissed me and apologized for it. Or, I think he apologized for it. He hasn’t been to the lake to read, and he hasn’t brought Pepper out this way.

I had to stop myself from visiting the bookstore every day this week. This quiet man with his curious but fearful eyes has crept right through my skin and lodged himself deep inside a place I never cared to fill. My heart. That’s where Axel is right now. Deep inside my heart. And not only that, he’s seeped into my pores, into my very bones. There’s no part of my body, physical or ethereal, where I don’t feel him.

I can’t shake him. Can’t stop thinking about his lips on mine. The more I think about him, the less it matters that he’s married. That he shares his lips with a man I despise for owning him.

The reasons that brought me to River Valley are becoming less important as the days pass and my grief for my father begins to feel easier to bear. Axel is beginning to fill spaces I never knew were empty. He’s brought light into places I never knew were dark.

I’ve become so obsessed with him that I’ve resorted to bribing his dog with meaty bones, so she’d come over here more often. My grand plan is to lure Axel into the woods looking for Pepper.

It pays off on Friday evening.

Axel walks along the edge of the property. He must have been calling out her name because Pepper’s ears prick up and she listens carefully but then simply goes back to her bone. She’s sitting on the sectional like an entitled queen without a care in the world for her master. I’ll worship at her feet if it means having Axel near me.

Dusk has fallen, leaving the earth with a red-orange hue, now that the snow time has passed. I’m able to see Axel from the bay window where I’m standing.

Pepper suddenly jumps off the sofa and lifts her head in the air, yapping her mouth. She’s barking.

Seconds later, the light in the kitchen begins to blink rapidly. Doorbell.

Pepper weaves between my legs as I get to the door.

Axel stands there, a woollen hat covering his head.

“Have you seen—” His lips move and then stop when Pepper pokes her head out from between my legs, wagging her tail. Then she dashes back through the kitchen and into the living room. I won’t lie. The bones I bought for Pepper are like drugs.

Axel’s eyes widen in horror and I stand there examining his face, trying to figure out what’s different about his look.

“I’m sorry,” he says, facing me.

I think I’m getting tired of Axel apologizing for everything in his life. I wave my hand, dismissing his apology and then make a sign easy enough for him to understand, inviting him in.

He hesitates, licking his lips. I track the movement without any shame. He isn’t oblivious to my observations. A pink blush creeps into his face. I have never seen a man so handsome in my life.

I sign again. Come inside.

Axel contemplates the decision the same way someone might if he was given a bomb and didn’t know which wire to cut.

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