Page 46 of The Sound Of Us

He grins. It’s a cheeky, sexy thing he does with his face that I have never seen on a man’s face before.

He picks up the bowl, wraps the spaghetti around the fork, and holds it to my mouth.

My heart beats, tossing back and forth inside my chest, unsure of the direction to beat in. Slowly, I open my mouth. I don’t know why, but this feels so… sexual. Eli concentrates on feeding me and his eyes on my mouth feed my already unbearable hard-on. My erection from earlier when we’d kissed had sent my body into overdrive, and now this food situation was threatening to blow me apart.

Eli slides the fork into my mouth. A stray strand of spaghetti falls over my chin. I laugh and go to put it in my mouth, but Eli gets to it first. But he doesn’t simply use his fingers. He leans forward and sucks up at the strand and then slides it into my mouth with his tongue.

It’s a small mouthful of food, so I chew it quickly and watch Eli take a bite and chew.

In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing, this sharing of food. But this is not the grand scheme. This is a tiny moment inside my tiny, unpredictable existence. And in this tiny moment, what Eli is doing with the food right now is changing my whole world. He’s turning the insignificant act of sharing food into an expression of… care.

Care. Yes, care, but also more than that. There’s a lightness here. A sense of contentment. Like there is nothing more that is needed for this moment to be perfect. Like the world is right and nothing more is needed to make it more right. Because more is not needed.

I give myself a shake. My overdramatic analysis is way out of hand. I should get over this over-romanticizing nonsense.

Eli continues to feed me his spaghetti and after the third bite, I become convinced that he deliberately allows some strands to fall to my chin.

By the fifth bite, my eyes drift shut in anticipation of his tongue on my chin, dragging up and into my mouth. And after I’ve chewed my next bite, Eli’s mouth is on mine again. The food is forgotten and I have a fleeting thought that I’ve never been so happy that Frank is working the night shift.

Pepper seems to have licked off all the meaty bits of her bone. The grinding of her teeth against the bone reaches my ears. But I want to be like Eli, where nothing exists but him and me. No sound from the outside world exists. Only the sound of our hearts beating, a sound heard clearly through our touch, as Eli pulls me close to him, chest to chest.

I go willingly, falling into the great expanse of darkness where wedding vows and husbands, loyalty and fidelity are swallowed whole and such things as sin and betrayal do not exist.

Eli’s hand moves down, his fingers caressing my throat. I moan loudly and he moves his fingers across my Adam’s apple. I don’t know how I know this, but I make an instant connection in the movement. I groan out loud again. He tracks his thumb across my throat again.

He’s listening to me.

I don’t know why tears spring to my eyes. Is it because I don’t know a single time when Frank has been this attentive to me? How is it possible that I can say that this man, who cannot hear me, is now listening to me like no one else ever has?

The thought sends ripples of something through me. I can’t name it. I don’t know what it is. All I know is that it feels like the earth has disappeared from underneath me and I’m falling without the need for a safety net.

Eli’s hand drifts further down to my chest. He presses slightly. Is my heartbeat another way he listens to me? It must be, because as the rhythm of my heartbeat increases, so too, do the intensity of Eli’s kisses.

But my need for release overpowers my awe and wonder over his ability to listen while he can’t hear, and I press my body closer to his, somehow conveying to him that I need more of him in places far more demanding for touch than my throat or chest.

Eli obliges me, sending his hand flying to my crotch. He palms my erection through my sweats, and I press up into his touch. He strokes me hard, rubbing my length, grabbing as much as the material would allow.

Then, I can’t bear the excruciating pleasure any longer. I hump Eli’s palm shamelessly. Finally, when his elegant, slender fingers slip inside to encircle my cock, I throw my head back with a deep groan.

Eli fists me. Lazily at first as he leans forward and sinks his teeth onto my shirt covered nipple, biting hard enough for me to lose half my mind.

Then he lifts his head, pushing me back gently. I’m on the edge of the seat, my hands behind me, providing support. My head falls back as Eli straightens and continues to work my dick. My eyes drift open. He’s watching me. His blue eyes, like glass, studying my face as he gives me this excruciating pleasure.

I should be embarrassed, exposed under the harsh light like this. That I’m not tells me how far gone I am. How desperate I am for the kind of orgasm only Eli can give me. The kind of release I have only ever felt once before, near the lake, at Eli’s hand. The desperation to feel that again has me jerking up into Eli’s hand.

Eli bends. I pull him up again and he looks at me curiously. I detest breaking this moment but it's important. “I'm clean,” I say. “I got tested recently.”

He nods and drops his head to my chest for a kiss. there. And then, further down.

It must have been a fraction of a second, but to me it happened as if in slow motion. Eli’s lips slide over my dick. And all the fucking way down.

If I had possession of my rational mind, I’d have thought James and Frank were lying this whole time. Eli has no problem taking my cock.

Ahh, it’s beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Eli’s saliva glides over my dick, lubricating me. My pre-cum is licked off, followed by Eli’s probing tongue along my slit.

Ahh, fuck. I push up, praying he’d do it again. Fuck, he does and then he swallows me again. His throat squeezes my dick and when he’s deep throated me straight into the fucking abyss, I press up until his chin grazes my balls, and for the first time in so many years, I come inside a man’s throat, pouring my semen into him like his throat was made for my dick.

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