Page 50 of The Sound Of Us

He lifts his hand and says, “Sorry,” and points to Pepper. Then he bends at the knees, tapping on his thighs, calling her.

Pepper sits in front of the cupboard that contains her treats and rests her head on the floor. She’s not going anywhere.

I walk to the cupboard and open it. Pepper jumps up and circles me like a vulture. But even after I’ve given her a treat, she still won’t go. Frank stands there awkwardly and I make a point of not making things easier for him. Let him stand there and suffer trying to communicate with a deaf guy. Right now I’m twelve, not thirty-two.

Pepper circles me and I give her a second treat and no matter how many times Frank bangs on his legs, she doesn’t go to him.

Eventually, I walk to the door, Pepper hot on my heels. I decide to walk them back home. Maybe I’ll get to see Axel, although it’s still early.

Frank gives me an elaborate pat on the back when Pepper follows obediently up the path and all I want to do is break his neck. I keep my distance after that and make no attempt at small talk.

When we reach their house, Axel is on the porch draping a towel over the clothes dryer.

His beautiful eyes widen when they collide with mine. He’s so beautiful, even with his buzz cut and his eyes bugged out like that.

He’s frozen in place, horror creeping into his face, so I offer him a light smile to calm his nerves. I think it helps. I love how I’m able to communicate with this sad, beautiful man without words, without signs. It’s as if his heart has become connected to mine and we speak a language created only for us.

Frank jogs up the steps to Axel and makes a few quick gestures at Pepper. His body language and the slow bow of Axel’s head tell me that Frank isn’t happy.

Axel’s eyes dart between me and Frank and occasionally at Pepper, who’s turning out to be a big cheater, sitting at my feet like she belongs to me and not to the two men on the porch.

After being sufficiently chastised, as it appeared to be, Axel walks down the steps.

“I’m sorry about Pepper coming to your place so early. It won’t happen again,” he says.

I wish I could tell him that I would steal Pepper away if it meant that he would follow.

I dip my head instead and sign you’re beautiful. I’ve never used my deafness to my advantage like this before but fuck Frank. I tell Axel he’s beautiful right there in front of that deadbeat cunt of a husband.

Axel recognizes the sign because his face lights up into a soft pink and he casts a quick glance back at Frank, who’s already gone inside.

I could say beautiful, which involves waving my fingers over my face in sign, and I still don't think Frank Davis would get it. He behaves like he's too above deaf people to bother with our language. He's doing me a favor with his giant ego.

He puts four fingers to his chin, taps and extends his hand. Thank you. He’s a little dramatic about it, but I think he just wants to make sure he’s done it right.

I laugh and give him a thumbs up.

He beams and I fall in love with him immediately. It’s instant and I don’t bother denying any of it.

Last night I was prepared to steal him away.

This morning I was prepared to steal his dog with the hope that he would follow.

Now? I would burn everything to have him.

Chapter 26

Axel

There are a dozen things I should be agonizing over. A dozen things worthy of my anxiety. Things such as how I, a married man, had my dick sucked by another man. How I’ve kissed another man half a dozen times. The fact that I am now officially cheating on a man who would think nothing about blowing my brains out with his illegal gun. A man who would turn my face into a piece of trashy art if he knew I even had thoughts about another man.

But all I can think about is the look on Eli’s face when I signed thank you and when he realized that I understood what he’d signed. He looked impressed. He approved. Of me. He looked at me and there was something about me that he liked.

Somehow it’s different from someone being impressed by my so-called pretty face. Different from that first time Frank had told me I was the handsomest boy he’d ever seen.

Back then, something told me that Frank’s motives were questionable. There were no words to describe it. Only that feeling of… unease. But with Eli, there was a sliver of pride on his face that made me bloom under his gaze. Instead of wanting to shrivel up and hide, with Eli I wanted to grow and expand. With Eli, I wanted to be more of myself, not less.

“You just gonna stand there?” Frank demands. I jump a little, remembering I’m standing by the kitchen sink with my empty cup still in my hand. The truth is that I stood over by the sink with my coffee because from here I could watch Eli make his way back up the road without looking like an adulterer.

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