Page 53 of The Sound Of Us

I’m sitting sideways on the boulder with my back leaning against the tree trunk. A movement along the path catches my eye.

If my back had been facing the path Axel usually takes, I wonder if he would have quietly left, knowing I wouldn’t have heard him.

I unlock my phone and face the lit up screen in that direction. He can’t back out now.

Even from this distance, I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. He takes a step back, lifting his hand in that I’m sorry way. I’ll never teach him the proper way to sign I’m sorry and I hope he never learns it on his own. I’ve never met anyone who’s always so sorry for everything.

When that foot of his moves back, I spring from the boulder, eating up the distance between us, and grabbing his wrist.

He turns back to me. He has a book in his hand.

Don’t go, I sign. His forehead creases, but it’s okay. I’ll teach him the sign for don’t go later. For now, I gently tug his hand, pulling him in the direction of the boulder. But… where’s Pepper?

I type on my phone and ask him.

“I had to put her on a leash,” he says.

Why, I type.

“Frank says she’s too free, going into people’s houses.”

I shake my head, making sure to convey my disapproval.

Let’s go and get her, I type.

His eyes light up. And it takes my breath away.

I take his hand in mine. He lets me. And we walk together up the path. At the first sliver of light from the house at the end of the path, Axel tugs his hand out of mine. I let him. He turns to me. “I’ll go get her,” he says.

I nod. I can see the front of his house from here. It’s obscure, but I can see enough to make out Pepper’s shape sitting on the porch.

Axel hurries down the road and within a few minutes, he’s walking quickly up the road with Pepper trotting alongside him. I think she knows this is a covert mission too, because she doesn’t go crazy when she sees me. She just nuzzles my crotch and walks between me and Axel. Her body language tells me she hasn’t barked.

Soon, we’re back at the boulder and Pepper is happily devouring her bone next to us on the ground. I resume my position on the boulder, my back against the tree trunk and my knees propped up. Axel sits next to me, facing the lake, his legs dangling over the edge of the boulder. I study his profile while he studies the sky.

For the second time in my life, I regret the limitations of being deaf.

I wish I could lean over to him and whisper sweet nothings. I wish I could lay my ear to his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Would it sound the same as it feels beneath my palms, strong and steady? I wish I could hear the sound of his voice to see if it would sound as it does vibrating against my fingers.

But I’m not the type to dwell on what cannot be done. So, I lean forward and trail my fingers along the sleeve of his jacket, pulling his gaze away from the moon.

Turning my palm over, I offer him my hand. Come here.

Hesitation pours out of him. He looks at my hand for a long time. It’s not like me to wait like this. To have my heart in my hand and my breath trapped inside my chest, waiting for him to choose me just one more time. But, it seems, I could wait forever if it promised me just one more moment with this man.

In a world like mine, where time moves too fast to appreciate just one single moment, here in this world, in Axel’s world, he slows me down. Makes me savour each moment. The uncertainty of my victory in this situation with Axel—whether I can have him—hasn’t deterred me, but it has forced me to be more careful with each moment. Treat it with care because I don’t know if it would be the last.

Like now, watching Axel war with his heart and his morals, I respect his battle. I remain inside this moment, forcing out the intermittent need to simply take what I’ve already claimed as mine.

He slips his hand into mine, choosing me.

I pull him up between my legs and into me, his back to my chest. With my face to the sky, I thank whatever powers exist that this place is so secluded, we don’t have to worry about being caught.

Axel’s body is stiff against mine. Tension causing his muscles to harden beneath my hands as my fingers trace the outline of his arms. My hand snakes around his waist, pulling him further into my body. My dick, hard and ready, presses up onto his back while my hands glide over his abdomen.

It’s beautiful to witness the moment he lets go. To observe the second time tonight when he chooses me. His head falls back onto my shoulder, his fingers, laced with mine, guiding me underneath his shirt.

My hand moves up his chest to his heart so I can feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest, my way of hearing his breaths. I imagine them to be harsh, loud maybe.

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