Page 58 of The Sound Of Us

With seconds to spare, I rush to the bedroom and pull on a second pair of sweats and socks.

The toilet flushes and when Frank returns to the kitchen, I’m already laying his plate and the beer on the table.

“The fuck is this?” Frank slurs, pulling the cotton wool from my ears. My blood turns to ice, my body stone cold, and I prepare to die. He must be able to figure it out. And when he does, he’s going to kill me.

“You got some kind of ear infection or something?” He drops onto his chair in front of his food.

My body sags with relief. “Yes,” I lie. “But it’s nothing serious.”

“Good, cos we ain’ got no money for those ear drops.”

“Don’t worry about it, Frank.” I rub my hands up and down my thighs, making sure the barrier between my outer sweats and my skin is at least a little bit thick.

“And it better not be the cancer. One time was enough, fuck. I can’t deal with that again.”

A lump thickens in my throat. I shove it down. It’s nothing new. Why should I cry about it?

He mumbles some more incoherent words and as rare as it is, I might be able to escape No Lube Friday. He’s too drunk.

Frank is almost asleep at the table. “Should I help you get into bed?” I ask as gently as possible. Like soothing a rabid dog.

“Can I eat my fuckin’ food first, you dumb fuckin’ third-grade fuckin’ bitch?”

I slide into the chair next to him. My stomach grumbles. I’ll eat later, when he’s asleep. It occurs to me that Eli wouldn’t be able to hear my stomach growl with hunger, but I’ll bet he’d just know if I was hungry.

“Yes, Frank.”

He falls asleep over his food after two bites. If he wakes up hungry, he won’t remember that he didn’t finish his food. He’ll say I didn’t dish up for him.

In any case, I coax him half awake. Enough to hook his massive frame over my body and help him to bed, removing his socks and shoes as lightly as possible. I leave him with his jacket and pants.

All I can think about is that he won’t hit me tonight. I contemplate removing the extra clothing, but at the last minute I lose my confidence and keep them on.

I fall asleep next to Frank, dreaming about the stranger in my imagination. The man who is now anything but a stranger.

Chapter 31

Axel

I’m pulled out of my sleep at some point during the night, and I’m sleepy enough to let my defences stay down when I’m manhandled from behind. A sharp tug of my sweats, both of them. An intrusion between my ass cheeks. It must have been the grogginess of sleep that made me push Frank away. He’s done this before, but I’ve always been on alert for it. Tonight I’d slept more soundly than I usually do. And so, without thinking, I push him away. It’s the first time.

“The fuck you doing?” Frank's hoarse grunt near my ear. “You don’t want to give me some ass?”

My body, stiff with uncertainty, doesn’t help the situation.

“You too good for me now since you started earning some money?” He grabs my hair, but there isn’t much to hold on to since I shaved it all off and for that, I’m grateful.

Still, I can’t answer him. The thought of fucking Frank makes me sick. Revulsion clogs my throat.

He shoves my pants further down and yanks my hips back against him. I don’t know where the courage comes from. Maybe it’s the overwhelming feeling that it’s Eli I’m cheating on right now. “No, Frank,” I whisper.

“What? You’re gonna hold out on me like some prissy virgin?”

“It’s rape if you force me,” I whisper.

Frank yanks up my sweats. “I ain’t no rapist.” I can hear the twist of his lips in his voice. A horrible sneer, reserved for the meanest words to ever be uttered by him.

He shifts away from me and slams his palm into my back, between my shoulder blades. “The fuck you think you are? Some sex god or something?”

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