Page 60 of The Sound Of Us

The realization of what my life could have been if I’d met Eli first has me sprinting up the road and around the bend with Pepper hot on my heels.

And it’s the single, almost unformed thought of what if that gives me the courage to ring his doorbell, with a foil packet hidden in the pocket of my sweats.

I need him. Tonight, I need all of him. And the threat of that gun be damned. I’m dying anyway, and I cannot die without knowing Eli like this. Without giving myself to him in this way. To be known by Eli has become unbearable. I’ll turn every sacred vow into meaningless syllables for him. My marriage papers be damned.

Frank be damned.

His gun be fucking damned.

Chapter 32

Eli

I sit at the counter with a dozen photo albums. These from the very back of the attic. I found them only just this afternoon. My father had been a great tennis player, although their idea of tennis had been handmade rackets and bouncy balls. Not actual tennis balls.

The incessant flickering light above me indicates an urgent ringing of my doorbell.

I fly to the door. That can be only one person.

Yanking it open, my eyes focus on the man standing in front of me.

He’s been crying. His eyes are red. His face… devastated.

Pepper wags her tail and sniffs up into the air. I pat her head absently, my eyes fixed on Axel.

He lunges forward, propelling us both into the warmth of the house. His lips, crashing over mine in a kiss that steals my soul.

Something’s happened, but he’s not giving me a chance to find out. He bites and pulls, his desperation making my concern for him override my desire for whatever he’s offering with his body at this moment.

But he won’t give me an inch, sucking at my tongue, tugging at my hair. He’s losing control in a way I’ve never seen before.

I kiss him back on instinct. There’s a wall coming down from between us, crashing at a phenomenal speed. A line being erased. Boundaries breached. Vows being broken.

I don’t know who deepens the kiss and takes us to the other side. I’d like to think it was me so Axel wouldn’t have to bear the burden of taking us to that place of no return.

I suck into his mouth, pulling his tongue into mine. His hands rush up and down my back and I place my hand on his throat to hear his need. The vibrations thrumming against my fingers harden my cock. I drop my hands to his hips, slamming them against me.

He’s so fucking hard, rubbing against me, so hot and needy. But I need to know what this is.

I rip my lips from his and, with his face captured between my palms, I search his face for answers.

He pulls me back and I allow another hard kiss, but I hold him back once more.

His hands move, both palms facing each other, his index and middle fingers pointed outward, and then he points to himself. I lift my eyes to his face. His mouth moves. Even if I hadn’t understood his signs, I’d have heard him in my soul. “Fuck me, Eli. Please.”

I frown, trying to convey my concern. I don’t have my phone or a pen and paper nearby, so I sign, hoping he’ll understand. “What’s wrong?” My palms cup his face.

“We can talk later. For now, please, Eli, I—”

The desperation in his eyes is too much to bear. I slam my mouth over his, kissing him like he belongs to me. He does. He’s brought the walls down. Nothing exists between us now. He’s mine.

My hands, previously restricted by that fucking ring on his finger, now move with a ferocious possessiveness, demanding to know every inch of him.

He revels in my touch, dipping his head backward, pressing up against my dick, carnal and full of sin.

I lift him up. His legs come around my waist and I carry him to my bed.

He slips down my body, standing in the middle of my bedroom. My lips connect with his again, biting into his mouth, sucking at the corner of his lips while I undress him.

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