Page 93 of The Sound Of Us

I consider flying back to see her, but… I can’t just leave Axel. Maybe I can take him with me. We can make it a one-day visit and be back without anyone noticing.

I’m anxious about not being able to communicate with Axel and between that and my concern for my mother, I find myself at Mrs. Dalton’s door just before eleven p.m. She takes pity on me, and, after insisting I have a late night cup of tea, she calls Axel. There’s no response after three tries. Texts are undelivered.

“I’m sure he was tired and got to bed early,” Mrs. Dalton tries to reassure me. She tries one last time as I finish my tea. No response.

I thank her for her efforts and make my way back home. The walk is more of a trudge. Not my usual look, but this town has taught me that it’s okay to look like how you feel sometimes.

Right now, I feel defeated.

As I come down the path, a movement near my house catches my eye. I pause, then remember, this is not the city. The likelihood of someone trying to rob my house is very low. Still, I walk slowly while I inspect the area. Pepper comes into view and then I’m immediately sprinting down the path. Axel is at the window, banging. As I run, I watch him alternate between the doorbell and the window. His movements are jerky and quick. Desperate.

Something is wrong.

His back is to me when I get to him. I reach for his arm and spin him around. The one second of shock on his face is immediately replaced by a relief so profound I have a hard time not going into a full-scale panic over what’s put him in such a panic.

His lips are moving, but I don’t understand because he’s talking too fast. Babbling. He’s babbling and I can’t keep up. I manage to get something about forgetting his key for my backdoor but nothing else.

Pepper circles us, rubbing against Axel’s thigh. Axel throws himself into my chest, but I hold him off at a small distance, holding him by the shoulders and inspecting his body for signs of an attack. He almost drops to the ground when I tighten my grip on his shoulders. I release his shoulder immediately and his hand goes up there to rub.

I half carry him into the house with the way he clings to me. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. I can’t hear him. I can’t detect his cries. I can’t follow his pain fast enough.

Inside, Pepper jumps onto the couch and settles down. I set Axel on the couch and sit beside him. Taking his face in mine, I force him to look at me. I frown, asking him silently to tell me what’s wrong because I can’t risk letting go of his face to sign or retrieve my phone to type.

He lifts his hand, his face soaked with tears. Then he signs. R. P. E. The second letter between r and p is wrong; it isn’t a sign, but I don’t need it. Axel watches my face and when I make the connection, he bursts into tears.

A scream tears through my throat. “No”. It must have been loud because Axel’s eyes widen before he collapses into my arms. I hold him together while my helpless fury tears me apart. My very first word uttered in his presence and it had to be this? This agonizing sound, breaking the silence between us?

How did I not know that people could be this evil? That innocent people could be tortured like this?

My body vibrates, my breath moving in and out of my chest in short gasps.

Axel shifts and lifts his head. I keep my arms banded around him tightly. “How soon can you call your lawyer?” he asks.

I reach for my phone and dial.

Axel stops me. “We don’t have to do it right this minute. It’s late.”

I gently remove his hand. What is all the power I hold worth if I can’t use it to protect him?

Howard picks up on the first ring. The screen is darkened but comes sharply into view a second later when the light on his side is switched on. His hair is ruffled. I’ve woken him, but he knows I wouldn’t have placed this call if it wasn’t urgent.

The screen jerks for a second while he sets it up on a flat surface and I do the same, placing the phone on the coffee table. Axel takes my hand in his, squeezing hard. I rub my thumb over the back of his hand.

Eli, good to see you. Is everything okay? Howard signs.

I gently remove my hand from Axel’s and sign back. Good to see you too. I need some help. I tilt the phone to the side so Axel comes into view. He drops his head, picking at his fingernails.

This is Axel, I sign.

Is he hearing?

Yes. He’s still learning to sign.

Howard drops his hands, and my eyes move to his lips. “Hi, Axel,” Howard says.

Axel’s head jerks up and he greets Howard.

I sign quickly. Axel needs a divorce lawyer. We need to initiate divorce proceedings and have it finalized within the next few weeks. We can’t wait longer than that.

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