Page 94 of The Sound Of Us

Howard is the best in his field, understanding his place, but even he can’t help his curiosity. We? He signs. While I watch, his face connects the dots from the last conversation I had with him about my hypothetical situation involving a divorce.

I give him a clipped nod, taking Axel’s hand in mine and placing it on my thigh.

Since we’re speaking in sign language, Howard moves his eyes to Axel and confirms, “Axel, Eli tells me you require the services of a divorce lawyer, the urgency of which requires for your divorce to be initiated and finalized within the next few weeks.”

Axel gives me a nervous look and then nods at Howard.

“I'll get the paperwork started, Eli, but sixty days is usually the best we can do. Be prepared for that. The divorce proceedings will have to take place over there, that's how it usually works, but we'll see what we can do.” Howards tells me. I nod and then look to Axel for approval. He nods, some light returning to his eyes.

I thank Howard and end the call.

Then I turn back to Axel. He clings to me again. All I want is to go down the road and murder Frank in cold blood, but Axel’s fear radiates from him like an unbearable heat. So, I settle back into the couch and pull him into my lap. He curls into a ball and I hold him to me, stroking his hair with one hand and rubbing lightly across his chest with the other. I don’t know how much time passed before the rise and fall of his chest settles into a deep, steady rhythm and then I know he’s fallen asleep.

I rise with him, noticing his frame is slighter than before. He’s definitely lost some weight.

I lay him down on my bed carefully and climb in next to him.

A little while longer and this hell will be over for him.

Chapter 51

Axel

It’s the warmth that wakes me. The soft, pleasant warmth I experience only when I’m with Eli. I’m settled deep in his chest, his body curled around me and his arms keeping me hidden. The way Eli’s body surrounds me, you’d never guess I’m here if you looked at his sleeping posture from behind.

This could be my life. I push all thoughts of cancer and chemo and treatment and death sentences and guns out of my mind. Like Frank said one time, if I was going to die, I’d have been gone by now.

The time on Eli’s alarm clock says three-thirty a.m.. I’ve been gone just more than three hours. Frank must still be sleeping. He still had the gun in his hand when he fell asleep. It’s the gun I’d been so desperate to get away from. The thought of dying in general has become beyond frightening since Eli came into my life, but to die at Frank’s hand is the worst kind of injustice.

Eli’s hand is heavy. I try to slip out of his grasp, but it’s almost impossible without waking him. I need to get back so Frank doesn’t come looking for me. I just need to survive the next few weeks, but even I’ve noticed that I’ve become too bold for my own good recently. I’ll have to be more careful until I can go away with Eli.

Somehow, I manage to slip out from under Eli’s arm. Pepper’s tail thumps softly on the bed. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as Pepper and I creep out of the bedroom. I look surprisingly well rested for someone who was raped the night before by his husband.

Mrs. Dalton is at her kitchen window when I pass with Pepper. She waves her hand and I can see her concern on her face from all the way over here. I give her the thumbs up and sign, I’m okay, to her. She nods and disappears from the window. I hope she hasn’t been sitting there all night watching for me.

I check through the windows first for signs of movement. I’d pulled the curtain slightly open before I left last night and when I go around to check, Frank is still sleeping.

So Pepper and I quickly enter the house. I give her some water and something to eat and get busy with cleaning up the kitchen.

Halfway through, I can’t get it out of my mind and so I creep to the bedroom and peer inside to see if the gun is still on the bed. It is.

Just get your stuff and go. The thought gives me so much hope. My hands pause over the last of the plates I’d been washing. I could do it. I could tell Eli I’m ready and we could be gone right now. What’s stopping me? Mrs. Dalton would understand if I suddenly left. She’d be happy, in fact. Ben too.

That’s it. I’ll leave. Right now. I’ll need only my box of memories.

“Where were you?”

Prickles of alertness immediately engulf me. My back freezes and my feet and palms begin to pulse.

With careful movements, I set the plate down and turn slowly.

Frank stands at the doorway, eyes bloodshot, bed hair and an evil gleam in his eyes. He lifts his hand to scratch his head. Maybe it was to show me the gun in his hand. I don’t know. My first thought is that the shiny silver of the gun matches that glint in his eye.

“I asked, where the fuck were you when I got up for a piss?”

Words stick together inside my throat. I try for a deflection. “What you did to me last night was unforgivable, Frank.”

“It’s part of the terms and conditions of our fuckin’ marriage contract. When you signed it, you gave your consent for me to fuck you whenever I wanted. So don’t go talking about non-consent and all that new age bullshit. I know my rights.”

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