Page 12 of The Rest is History

Forever and always.

I thumb absently through the journal.

September 9th: Eighth grade sucks balls xoxo Ash. Only because he had to travel further away for high school and got home too late. With the travel time, his football practice and homework, we hardly saw each other.

October 10th: Ash grew like six inches and THAT sucks balls cos where's my growth spurt? It came a year later. There was only a three-inch height difference between us by the time we turned seventeen.

A lump jumps in my throat when I swallow. I turn to the middle of the book.

November 17th: I love you xoxo Ash

November 18th: I love you xoxo Reece

My inhale is shaky. I can’t cry in an Uber.

December 11th: Please, sir. I want some more hahahahahaha

December 12th: Always, Reece

Ash’s handwriting was always better than mine. Mine were terrible scribbles. His, neat blocks. We passed this journal back and forth nearly every day after November 17th. There was always something to say.

February 17th: Your eyes get darker when the weather is bad. I love them like that xoxo Ash

February 18th: You’re my hero. I love you so much xoxo Reece

A smile touches my lips. I guess we were a little cheesy too.

The GPS announces that we should take Exit 190. Still two hours to go.

My desperation brought me to Iowa, to the only man who can help me make sense of who I am. When I see Asher again, maybe I’ll beg him to tell me what to do with this life I’ve managed to fuck up so catastrophically. I’ll tell him about Abby and does he think I’ll survive? Does he think I have enough courage? Asher always had all the answers.

I rummage through my satchel for a pen. Turning the page over, I write in our journal for the first time in more than ten years.

March 15th: New beginnings

Chapter 6

Reece

It’s the start of a new chapter. Starting on a clean slate. I set the journal on my lap and check my phone again. A new text from my father.

Buddy Carter: Your assistant just told me you left for Iowa. Is this why you asked for two weeks off?

New beginnings also mean telling people to fuck off. I’m not there yet so I go for tactful, as always.

Me: Yes.

BC: What the hell are you going to do in Iowa?

Me: I’m going to see Ash.

BC: Who the hell is Ash?

I can’t tell if he really can’t remember Asher or if he’s doing it to establish the power dynamics between us in this conversation.

But new beginnings, and all.

Me: My best friend. You don’t remember ruining his life in high school? Firing his parents and throwing them out?

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