Page 40 of The Rest is History

Sawyer isn’t in bed when I wake up on Saturday morning. The sun is pouring into the bedroom and the sounds coming from downstairs tell me he’s in the kitchen.

I turn onto my back, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

What happened last night? Where did that come from?

It’s true that Reece’s arrival hasn’t left me completely unbothered but I’ve been honest with Sawyer about it. Haven’t I?

What door has Sawyer opened for us? And why am I not truly appalled by it?

Would you fuck him for me?

Yes.

Throwing the bed covers off, I head for the shower. No. It was just a moment in time. We got carried away. We’ve never fantasized about having someone else in our bed, and even if we had, it wouldn’t have been something out of the ordinary. A lot of couples have those fantasies, surely. It’s hardly anything to raise an eyebrow over. But . . .

But . . . Reece?

That’s the ultimate invisible line. Blurred by Sawyer last night. A decision upheld by me. He asked a question and I answered it.

Now what? Let it go as an inappropriate fantasy? The spray of the showerhead does nothing to calm my state of mind. The thoughts tumbling inside my head bring no order or solutions to what I should be feeling or thinking.

Stepping out of the shower, I reach for a towel and while I dry off, I take a few deep breaths. There’s a logical explanation for this. There is always a logical explanation for everything.

Despite my hesitance to face this new situation Sawyer and I find ourselves in, I take the stairs down two at a time in my eagerness to see him.

He has his back to me, scrambling eggs at the stove. I take a moment to appreciate him. All the parts of him he allows me to see. All the pieces of him I’ve gathered over the last several years. There is nothing about Sawyer you could ever not like.

He pauses his scrambling for a fraction of a second, sensing my presence, but he doesn’t turn around. I wrap my arms around him from behind, pulling him into my chest. He stiffens for a second before relaxing into my embrace. I reach over to switch off the gas. The eggs are done.

“I love you,” I whisper against his hair.

He turns in my arms, settling his hands on my waist. “You’re supposed to hate me.”

“Impossible,” I say, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

He sighs heavily. Drops his eyes to my chest. I lift his chin, forcing him to look at me. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”

Another sigh. “Thank you, you know. For not leaving me over – over last night.”

I kiss his forehead. “When we said there is no decorum between us, we never said there would be conditions or restrictions. If we meant what we said, then it applies here too.”

Sawyer rests his forehead on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Asher. I don’t know what got into me.”

“Let's get breakfast and we can talk about it.”

“I don’t think I have the appetite for breakfast.”

“It’s not the food that’s the problem. It’s this difficult conversation. Come, I’ll feed you while we talk.”

Sawyer gets our coffee ready and I load up a plate of eggs, bacon, sliced avocado and two slices of brown toast. I follow him into the living room. He sets the coffee down on the coffee table in front of the sectional and takes a seat on the couch, tucking one leg under the other. I sit facing him with the food on my lap.

“We’ve never talked about kink in our relationship,” I say. “I just never thought about it, but why have you never said anything, Sawyer?”

His cheeks light up. I place a forkful of bacon, egg and toast to his mouth. He opens and I slide the food inside. I take a sip of my coffee while he chews. “It’s not like that, Ash,” he says around his food. “I’ve never felt the need to . . .” He stares at his hands. “Like I said, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Let’s just remove Reece from the equation for a moment. Is a threesome something you’d want to try?”

“I’d never thought about it until – until . . .”

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