Page 41 of The Rest is History

I put a piece of avocado into his mouth and a piece of toast into mine. “Sawyer, sweetheart. It’s just me. And we need to talk about this. So, talk to me, baby.” I keep my voice gentle, because we need to get to the bottom of this.

He inhales and, thankfully, he’s making better eye contact now. I hand him his coffee. With both his hands wrapped around the cup, he takes a sip, and then talks. “Our relationship has always been amazing. In all ways. I’ve never felt the need to explore these – these kinks.”

“So, what happened last night? I mean, I have some explaining to do too because I was a willing participant, but we’ve got to start from the beginning, right?”

Sawyer remains silent for a long time, choosing to eat instead. I follow his lead until the food is finished and our coffee is halfway done.

He shifts closer to me and lays his head on my chest. I wrap my arm around his shoulder, keeping him there. “I can’t look at you while I talk,” he says.

I lay my chin on his head. “Okay, we can talk like this, then.”

“I’ve never considered having someone else in our bed with us before. Not in real life. Not even fantasies. But there’s something about Reece that – that—”

I stroke his hair.

“There’s something about Reece that turns me on. I’m sorry, Ash. This is fucking grounds for a divorce.”

“Stop that,” I say with a stern softness. “And go on.” But the truth is I don’t know how to feel about this. The only thing that’s clear about my feelings is how I find none of it reprehensible.

“And it’s not just him as an individual. I mean, I like him as a person. He just seems like a good human being. He brought an extra burrito to work for me yesterday. And a couple of weeks ago, he saved me a box of mini apple pies. I know it’s nothing, but I don’t know. It touched me.”

“You always found kindness attractive,” I say. “Could it be that you’re romanticizing his kindness?”

“Maybe. Yeah. That’s probably it. It must be that.” He looks up at me, resting his chin on my chest. “But I catch myself thinking about him in the context of – of us. How is that sensible? He’s your ex.”

“Is it just a fantasy? Between us?” I ask, kissing the tip of his nose. At least he’s looking at me now.

“I don’t know. It must be. Right? I’ve lost my mind, haven’t I?”

“Maybe it’s just that stage of our lives where we’re looking for something new? Something different?” And then, because I’m just as confused as Sawyer is, I add, “It’s not the most shocking thing to want in a marriage, I guess. I’d even say it’s pretty common? A lot of people like to try it. At least once, right?”

Sawyer sighs. “I guess so?”

I push some runaway strands of hair away from his face. “But, baby. Reece?” I say with a straight face, even though this conversation is blowing my mind the more we talk.

But if this is a turning point in my and Sawyer’s sexual relationship then we have to understand what Reece has to do with it, if anything at all.

Sawyer’s eyes shift away from me, but I grab his chin gently and bring his eyes back to mine.

“I might just be a little fascinated that I finally got to meet this guy who broke your heart,” he says. “Or maybe I’m secretly sizing him up and comparing myself to him. And because I can’t find anything wrong with him, I’m trying to find ways to like him, get along with him, without it getting weird.”

“Without it getting weird, baby? We fucked last night and got off to fantasies of him in our bed with us. I’d say we're past the weird stage.”

Sawyer searches my face, then, with his palms cupping my cheeks, he says, “Ash, I’m turned on by the thought of you fucking him. Of you fucking us.”

I wish my body would have gotten some prior notice for Sawyer’s words. He climbs into my lap, straddling me. He drops his head onto my shoulder, turning his face so his mouth brushes my ear. He grinds his cock – hard and heavy – against mine and my body’s response is no different than his. “I think about holding your dick to his mouth.”

Fuck. Sawyer moans into my neck, moving so my cock is rubbing against his ass. I reach between us to grab his concealed erection.

“Why, baby?” I groan into his hair.

“I just don’t know, Ash. But it’s between us, so maybe it’s okay. Is it okay? Tell me it’s okay.” He already knows it’s okay. He’s riding my cock like we’re naked and I’m inside him.

“It’s okay,” I whisper.

“Let’s do it. Just one more time. It's between us. Let’s see what happens.” Sawyer kisses my neck, sucking and moaning against my skin.

“Sawyer,” I rasp.

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