Page 57 of The Rest is History

But the taste of Sawyer’s mouth is too much for me to offer Asher any words. The scrape of his scruff against my skin when he turns his face to rub his cheek against mine, before bringing his mouth back to mine, is more than I can bear. I groan loudly, shamelessly. Pulling my mouth away from Sawyer’s, and with his face between my palms, I bring his cheek back to mine. And there, I rub the side of my face against that prickliness of his. Sawyer gives a loud exhale, like he knows what I want. He rubs his face against mine. It scrapes and it burns, and it makes me want more and more and more. He brings his cheek to my mouth, rubbing gently over my lips. I catch the skin between my lips, sucking hard and unable to breathe.

“Is that good, beautiful?” Asher murmurs against my neck. His hand comes around my throat, squeezing, and I almost die from excitement.

“Y-yes,” I groan and stammer against Sawyer’s cheek. I want to suck this man’s whole fucking face.

“I want to give you more, Reece,” Asher whispers. “You always asked me for more.”

More, please, sir. Give me more. “Fuck,” I gasp, my throat working against Asher’s grip.

“This is the only way I can give you more.”

“Do you want more?” Sawyer whispers against my lips.

I think I’m nodding because the answer is yes, yes, yes. More and more, and everything. But I’m distracted because he’s slowing us down, and I don’t want to slow down. He lifts his head, bringing our kiss to an end. Behind me, Asher loosens his grip. I hate it, and I want to tell him so. But I’m also scared. So scared that this is a sick joke. A beautiful dream I’m waking up from, and I don’t want to wake up.

I press my forehead to Sawyer’s shoulder while I catch my breath, unsure of what to do next. It must have been only a few seconds, but it feels longer than that before I’m able to raise my head again.

My eyes connect with Sawyers. His expression is earnest. Worried, even. Asher moves into my line of sight. He looks the same – unsure, worried.

“You’re married,” I whisper. “How can this be?” Because they are perfect together, as they are. And what do I have that they could possibly want? What do I have that I could give them?

“It was all my fault,” Sawyer says, his expression still guarded. He’s assessing the situation, and maybe it’s good that he does that, because I can’t think straight.

I frown. “H–how?”

“Should we move to the living room?” Asher asks with a press of his lips to my temple. I’m still a little dumbstruck, even if I now have a very clear understanding of what’s going on.

Sawyer takes my hand, lacing his fingers between mine and leads me to the living room. Asher is close behind me. I don’t want to be too far away from him. Or Sawyer. Their close proximity is the only thing keeping me together right now.

Asher takes the wingback. Sawyer leads me to the couch. We sink into it, sitting close enough that our outer thighs press against each other. My hand is still captured in his, and this moment feels like a perfect moment. So perfect, it’s terrifying.

“Do you feel ambushed?” Asher asks. A fair amount of discomfort envelopes the room, and rightfully so. How can we make sense of this if we don’t also feel the strangeness of it?

“Yes,” I say. Then, “No.” And then, “I mean, it’s not something I was ever expecting but – but I’m not . . . well, I’m not running for the hills.”

“I’m sorry it happened that way,” Sawyer says. “We agreed that Ash would be the one to bring it up because you both have history.”

“I didn’t know how to do it,” Asher says.

“I don’t mind the way . . .” I laugh lightly. This is the best fucked-up shit I’ve ever encountered. “I don’t mind the way you told me.”

Asher grins, and his face lights up the way it used to when we were younger. When we were boys and not yet men, but we’d loved as if we were immortal gods. So free and confident. He’s beautiful. Asher is so beautiful, I can’t bear it.

Next to me, Sawyer laughs lightly. “Are you sure?”

It’s like looking at Sawyer for the first time all over again. A lot of people wish they could experience something for the first time again. That first feeling of experiencing something profound and amazing can never be beaten. Yet, here I am experiencing, all over again, the feelings of the first time I ever laid my eyes on him.

“I’m sure,” I tell him.

There is a silence and the awkwardness persists because – where to from here? What exactly do they want? Those questions can’t be answered with kisses and electrifying touches. Those questions need answers with words. And words seem to be in short supply right now.

Asher takes control of the conversation. “We’ve never explored or even contemplated the idea of opening our marriage up like this, Reece. But you’ve – you’ve become special to Sawyer. And because of that, I’m able to allow myself to think about you as more than a love that I lost.”

“You told me you’ll always love Asher,” Sawyer says. “Could you love him like this?” His eyes search my face. He’s being brave, but it’s obvious what his concerns are. Do I want this with him too? “You don’t have to answer now. It’s a big deal. You’ll have to think about it. And whatever you decide, it doesn’t mean our friendship has to end.”

I laugh. This is crazy in the very best way I could have ever imagined. “Sawyer, you’re offering me a chance to be with Asher again in all the ways I’ve dreamed about these last ten years. And you’re offering me a chance to be with you, someone completely new, something I’ve never had. Do you not see how I can’t lose in this situation?”

He smiles widely, and my God, he’s gorgeous. “So, it’s not an immediate No?”

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