Page 65 of The Rest is History

When we pull away, I touch my thumb to Reece’s lower lip. Then, to Sawyer I say, “Thanks for bringing Reece over.”

“I like him,” Sawyer says with a grin. And then, “I need to shower. I told Reece he can shower here and offered to let him borrow some of your clothes.”

“Is that okay?” Reece says.

I chuckle. “Like you haven’t worn my clothes before.”

Reece grins, but he looks at Sawyer unsurely.

“We’ll work out the details as time goes on,” Sawyer tells him gently. “We can’t work out the boundaries and allowances out here in the hallway on the first day, right?”

Reece expels a breath. “Yeah. Of course. Sorry. This is all still just blowing my mind.”

“Ours too,” I say. “Why don’t you use the guest bathroom? I’ll leave out some clothes for you. We can have dinner after. And I thought we could talk later.”

Sawyer kisses my cheek. “Sounds great.” And he heads upstairs.

Reece stands awkwardly in the hallway. I pull him into my arms. “It’s just me, Reece. It’s just me and Sawyer. He's the most beautiful person you’ll ever meet. You can let your guard down, love.”

He settles into my embrace and it feels just like it used to.

“Thank you for changing my life, Ash,” he whispers. “You were always there for me when we were kids and you made me so happy. And you’re doing it again as an adult. I’m so grateful for you and Sawyer.”

“Well, we’re grateful for you too.”

He steps out of my embrace. I drop my hands, immediately feeling disconnected from him through the small space.

He still doesn’t move. So, I take his hand in mine, pointing out various parts of the house as we walk – a house tour of sorts – until we reach the guest room. “The bathroom is in there,” I say. “Take your time. I’ll leave clothes for you on the bed. All the toiletries you need are either in the bathroom or on the dresser.”

I leave Reece to get into the shower and when I return with a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and underwear, the shower is running.

My heartbeat accelerates when I imagine Reece, naked in the shower just behind the door, and Sawyer naked in the shower upstairs. My stomach rolls as images of them race through my head.

Soon, I tell myself. Soon, it’ll all be more than just fantasies.

Chapter 30

Reece

I take longer in the shower than I usually do. I like the broad spray of the shower head. I don’t have this at my apartment. And shamefully, I miss such luxuries I no longer have access to.

When I exit the shower, with steam still rising from my heat-flushed skin, I find a set of clothes on the bed, as Asher promised, including underwear.

With the towel still wrapped around my waist, I study the clothes as if I’ve never worn Asher’s clothes before. We shared everything when we were teenagers. At first it was just because it was convenient or because I simply liked something of his. Later, it became one of his many acts of love, and eventually, each time Asher bought something new, he let me wear it first.

My father made me remove all his clothes from my closet when he left – when he sent him away – and, at the time, nothing had felt more painful.

Still, even with our history, I can’t bring myself to touch Asher’s clothing now. The fear that all of this is just a dream, that it’s not really happening, is too great. I fear that if I breathe wrong it’ll all end, and I’ll be back in Arizona and my life is the way it’s always been.

Breathing out slowly, I survey the room for body cream. I find it on the dresser. Lathering my still warm skin, I consider how, despite the shock of recent developments, Asher’s presence in my life has made everything infinitely better.

Soft noises outside the room reach my ears. I pause, listening. Sawyer’s laugh. He must have finished his shower. Then, silence. Maybe Asher reached over to kiss him after saying something funny. Maybe Sawyer pulled him into his arms and kissed his neck, telling him how cute he is for saying whatever he said that made him laugh.

A few seconds tick by and then the scrape of an island chair. Asher taking a seat while Sawyer moves around the kitchen, maybe.

Suddenly, I feel like an outsider. I am an outsider. As I dress, a wave of nausea drags itself up from my stomach, through my chest and settles in my throat. Maybe I’m just something interesting for Sawyer. Something he finds curious and wants to explore. When will the newness of it all fade away? How will I manage if I lose this second chance to be happy? To face not one heartbreak, but two.

The thought of Sawyer has my stomach tightening, and when I think of Asher, my heart pounds with fear that I’ll lose them both.

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