Page 43 of Seeking Her Studs

I feel her body lurch under me. A laugh.

“Oh, I know, B baby.” She says with a giggle as she continues to stroke my back. “I’m just glad you finally can admit it to yourself.”

“I was never fooling anyone, huh?” I say, resting my cheek on her shoulder in defeat.

She shakes her head, very clearly signalling no. “You weren’t. But the good news is that I’m pretty sure they’ve spent a long time being in love with you, too.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I say, defeatedly. “It’s all sex with them.”

“I think you all have your walls up pretty high. And that maybe sex is the only little trap door that lets you through.”

“Is my vagina the trap door?” I sit back up, wiping my tears away with a laugh.

“For Rile boys, it certainly is,” she grins back at me.

Her face grows more serious. “They’re good guys, Blaire. I’ve known them my entire life. I don’t think they see you as just some sex object. Maybe you need to believe yourself that you’re worth more than that. You deserve to be loved for who you are and them telling you that won’t make a difference until you believe it.”

I shake my head. “Thank heavens one person in our family came out sane. And I’m not talking about myself.”

She pulls me in close again. “I still have hope for you, Blaire Evans.”

And I wonder if the blooming feeling in my chest means that I just might agree with her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Blaire

I wake up with renewed purpose. Last night was a kick in the ovaries, thanks to Lacey. She stayed with me late into the night. We sorted through Gram’s papers while she filled me in on all the things I should have already known about her life in the last five years. I’ve been so locked down in my own shame of how much I’ve missed in this town, even when Gram was alive. And that’s something I’m going to have to live with. But at least I can start to face it.

And in the meantime, I’m going to do what Gram asked of me in her will and do it damn well.

I get myself ready for some hard, humbling work on the ranch. I’m not sure what the guys will have in store for me today, especially after what happened yesterday. And the truth is, I need more time for myself before I see them. I feel too raw and vulnerable right now. So I’ll text Kaylee and see if she has any ideas about what I can work on.

I pick up my phone to text her when I see a notification that makes my heart stop.

It’s a notification from the chatroom I was in with my three Mountain Studs, before they blocked me. I read it five times to make sure I understand it right.

You’ve missed a message in ‘Goldilocks and Her Three Bears’.

I cover the laugh that escapes my mouth. I know it’s a ridiculous name but, wow, I’ve really missed notifications like this popping up on my phone. I click the notification and it takes me to our chatroom.

TAKEAHIKE001: Long time no talk, Goldilocks. How are you?

I take a deep breath, debating if I should respond. This isn’t the text I was expecting after being blocked and now unblocked. Some light groveling for my forgiveness would have been nice. He’s not even addressing anything in our last conversation where I try to explain who I am. Maybe he realized I might be telling the truth after seeing me around town? Or they decided that even if I am a catfish, they don’t care?

And then what about the fact that I can’t deny to myself any longer that I have feelings for Colt, Reese, and Briggs? Even if they don’t have feelings for me.

I straighten my posture and tuck my phone back into my overalls. I need to think about this.

I’m the only one up, which is the first time I’ve managed that. I have to admit to myself that I actually am pretty fond of waking up to Briggs’ cooking. I thought I’d appreciate not having the extra calories to worry about, but instead the silent kitchen just feels lonely.

I grab a peach and decide to head back to the camper. We made good progress clearing it out yesterday, so I’ll keep the momentum going while I take a moment for myself.

I swing open the front door and stop short, almost choking on my bite of peach.

Standing in front of me is the last person I would have ever expected to see here. It feels like a slap in the face and I blink just to make sure I’m seeing correctly.

My mom.

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