Page 7 of Sworn to Defend

“I’m still here.” Hunter’s tone rumbled through her, echoing in places left unsated for a very long time.

“I didn’t think you’d wait.” She pressed her hand over her pounding heart.

“You said you wanted to talk. I thought you meant after Collin fell asleep. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Hunter, you just got out of the hospital. You should be home resting. I didn’t mean for you to wait.” She turned the lights back on. Hunter was leaned back on the couch, feet planted wide, hands clasped over his flat stomach in a relaxed posture.

Heat raced up her cheeks as she moved toward the couch and sat at the opposite side. Hunter had been in her house this whole time, listening to the exaggerated voices she made as she read and went about their nightly routine. “I wanted to talk about the things you told Rochelle, to let you know it wasn’t cool to pretend you were actually going to the wedding, let alone book two rooms at the Ritz. It’s going to add some uncomfortable conversations to my trip that I don’t care to have. I also wanted to apologize for leaving the hospital how I did and ignoring you for three days. That wasn’t okay, and you didn’t deserve that. When you said, well, when you mentioned being interested in me, I was worried your relationship with Collin was to get close to me. I never believed it, but I kept telling myself the lie anyway.”

“Why?” He angled his body so he was fully facing her. With his sheer size, the movement brought them closer just because of the amount of space he took up on the couch.

“Fear.” The breath rushed out of her. “When you asked me what I was thinking at dinner, it was me recognizing that you weren’t the one using Collin. It was me, creating a barrier between us. That makes me feel like a horrible mom and a horrible human. I was trying to convince myself you haven’t been totally genuine so I didn’t have to worry about something growing between us, because I’m afraid to let you in.”

There was a long pause, and she fought to keep still beneath his gaze. “I get it, Hannah,” he said finally, shifting so one knee was bent up on the couch and his body was angled toward her.

The breath rushed out of her lungs. “Don’t let me off the hook that easy.”

“I won’t sit here and pretend it doesn’t sting that you thought I was using Collin to get close to you, but that doesn’t mean for a second that I blame you. Collin is your son, and you look out for him the way a mother should. You’re a fucking fantastic parent. Don’t ever doubt that.” Hunter held out his palm faceup. A peace offering and maybe something more. She scooted closer, mirroring the way he sat with one leg bent on the couch and the other on the floor. His grip was strong and safe. There were healed-over nicks and scrapes over his hands and arm. Bruising inside the crook of his elbow where his IV had been placed in the hospital.

“It’s hard to explain, but when I spend time with Collin, it’s easy to forget the heavy stuff. The way he sees things, his laugh, his exuberance for all things pizza. Shit. I just love him. What I feel for you, though, is separate from my friendship with Collin. The fact that you’re a package deal is just the icing on the cake.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and the simple gesture sent sparks glittering up her arm. “I won’t ever intentionally let you down. And the wedding? What makes you think I’m not prepared to back up everything I told Rochelle and more?”

“You—Hunter, you can’t actually come to the wedding. That’s crazy. You were shot multiple times. Had a head injury from your fall. You can’t be traveling now.”

“Three grazes and one hit. I was lucky, and the bullet didn’t hit bone or any major arteries. My recovery overseas was long enough as it was.”

“It’s going to be awful. I don’t even want to go.” She was pretty sure her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Who offered themselves up to venture into the wolf den?

“Of course I’m coming. I’m your plus-one. I have your back and Collin’s, and I never would put you in an uncomfortable position where you had to explain yourself or pay for a hotel room you had no intention of booking. I’ve got the rooms. You tell me the airport and I’ve got the flights, too. But mostly, I’ve got you.” He squeezed her hand and there was a burning sensation behind her lids. She didn’t let herself cry. Never. Funny how all it took were a few gentle words and she was ready to come undone. “So let me in, Hannah. You have nothing to be afraid of. Not from me.”

Holy shit. She wasn’t used to someone being so open and honest. He had no clue what he was asking. When she first left Southlake, Texas, she’d worn her independence like a coat of armor. Telling herself over and over that nothing could break her. That she could depend on herself and no one else. That mantra got her through the scary, lonely nights, the pain of labor, sitting at her kitchen table with tears of exhaustion running down her cheeks and a crying Collin on her lap as she tried to finish her college assignments.

Now Hunter was here, offering her a chance at something she’d denied herself for so long. She wanted to reach out and grab the companionship he was offering. If she didn’t, she had a feeling she’d regret it for the rest of her life. At the same time, she knew with unquestionable certainty that Hunter would change her. If she let him in, she’d never be able to slip back into the isolated armor that had protected her for over a decade.

Chapter Four

Hannah’s hand felt like heaven in his. Hunter could tell she was warring with some internal battle. Had also noticed how her eyes became glassy the moment he offered her support. She was so strong, but it came at a cost. She probably never went see a therapist to help her get her head straight after a traumatic emergency response. Probably missed her own doctor’s appointments or any kind of relaxation or self-care because she just had too much on her plate. This was a woman who put herself last. He was going to make sure he always put her first. Hannah took care of everything and everyone in her life, but he was going to take care of her. Hannah had hardened herself to survive, but she’d done it for so long, she didn’t know how to lower the walls enough to give him a chance. His team called him easygoing, and maybe he was, but he could be just as stubborn as the rest of them. Hannah was worth the wait in spades.

Opening up to him was going to strip her bare, so he’d go first.

“I’ve been put on three months of medical leave. Way too much time for the injuries I sustained. At first, it scared the shit out of me. If I don’t stay busy, if I’m not helping, I feel inadequate. My parents worked hard to give me and my sister everything we had. Didn’t allow them much time at home, but that’s how most modern families have to operate.”

Hannah watched him intently, letting him talk.

“My older sister is amazing but she’s always needed…more. She’s struggles with bipolar disorder, and there were times growing up that my parents would be so drained trying to help her, that I felt like I needed to be perfect so they only had to worry about one of us. Classic glass child syndrome or something. Anyway, I guess that’s ingrained in me. Always working or doing homework. Keeping things tidy and calm. I try to lighten the mood, play things off, because that’s my role in my family and among my team. The steady one.” He swiped his thumb over the back of her hand, fascinated by the texture of her skin. Not smooth. Not rough. Somewhere in between. Hands that were competent and strong.

“I never want people to hurt or worry, so I keep things light.” He paused. There was no doubt that Hannah had seen bad stuff. Gruesome things that were imprinted in her mind. If she closed her eyes, she probably saw those horrific events dance behind her lids. He did, too. Except instead of being the one rushing in to help, he was the one who caused the carnage. The things he’d done, the things he would continue to do in the name of his country marked him. As if sensing his doubt, Hannah tightened her grip on his hand. “That also means I don’t let people too deep. Keep my burdens to myself. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of. Haven’t asked for help when I needed it most. The things I’ve done…I carry that darkness with me. Maybe that’s why I work so hard to project light, because I don’t want anyone to see what’s beneath the surface.”

The air weighed heavy between them, silence thickening with each passing moment that ticked by. “But you’re telling me.” She stared up at him with those big brown eyes. Instead of disgust, there was empathy there.

Fuck, he could get used to her looking up at him like that. He needed to leave her soon, though. Her lids were growing heavy and there were light purple bruises beneath her eyes from lack of sleep. “I am.”

“Why?” A tear rolled down her cheek and he caught it with his thumb and brushed it away.

God, she killed him. It wasn’t sympathy that had her crying—she was shouldering some of the weight he’d unloaded on her. Sharing the emotional brunt of what he’d given her.

He took a breath. There was no turning back. His words were either going to send her running in the opposite direction or convince her to open up. “Because when I thought I was about to die, my one regret was you. I promised myself if I made it, I was going to ask you out. It wouldn’t be fair of me to do that, though, without letting you know there’s more to my smile and easy nature.”

“You don’t have to tell me that. People are layered and complex. Of course you’ve seen terrible things, but for the most part, you choose to be happy.” Hannah shifted her hand in his, so their fingers interlocked. “If that’s anything, it’s being brave.” The conviction that snapped in her tone made him smile. She opened her mouth to say something, then hesitated. They sat in silence for a few moments. There was something else Hannah wanted to say, and he was going to give her the time to process whatever it was she was thinking.

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