Page 65 of Rebel Summer

“Are you asking me for advice, Books?” He pointed at his inflated chest.

“Not if you’re going to use that tone.”

His lips lifted at the corners. “Alright. You want to know the secret?”

“Yeah.”

“Stop making everything such a big deal. It doesn't have to be personal. You need to separate yourself. Lawnmower Joe from the mainland makes a career out of cheating people. That’s not on me. And I have every right to stand up for myself when he tries it on me. So, just stop caring about people, and you’ll be fine.” He brushed his hands together like the matter was solved. I kicked him with my leg.

I remembered the way he held me after Lucas, the feel of his hands on my legs as he carried me to the bed. His words implied an aloofness, while his actions suggested otherwise. If anything, I think he cared too much about people. But I kept my thoughts to myself.

“It’s hard to separate myself when the problem is my dad. It was easier in Tennessee, but here…” I trailed off.

“What’s hard about it now?”

“He’s right in front of my face. If I ignore his phone call he comes and finds me. He never called me in Tennessee.”

“What’s he making you feel bad for?” Dax asked, looking at me.

“Being here…ruining his campaign. Losing two of his sponsors.” I gave a little laugh, like it was all funny, but there was a pang in my gut, reminding me how unfunny it actually was.

Dax set the Lego down and draped his arms over his knees, taking me in with dark eyes.

“He’s making you feel bad because you’re on the island?”

I shrugged. It could go either way—here on the island or here with Dax. My guess was it was more the latter, but admitting that to Dax seemed too forward.

Dax held up his fingers, ticking each off as he said, “It’s not his island. It’s your home. You have every right to be here. If he really thinks that, he’s wrong. What’s the next one?”

My lips pulled upward the tiniest bit. “I’m ruining his campaign.”

“If he’s that terrible of a politician that one accident is enough to sink him, that’s on him. Your choices shouldn’t be related to him in any way.”

“But people do judge a politician’s family,” I insisted.

He shrugged. “He’s not running for president, so I think he can calm down. Everybody in this town knows you, Books. It was an accident. Everybody has moved on. I was over it the second you stepped into my garage.”

I looked to him in surprise. It took a long moment before I trusted myself to say something. “Was it my heartfelt apology?”

“Something like that.” His voice sounded almost gentle even as he bit back a smile.

The mood shifted into something so soft I could hold in my hand.

“What was that last one?”

I thought back to what I had said. “He lost two big sponsors because of me—so he claims.”

Dax rolled his eyes. “Okay. Now you tell me how he’s wrong.”

I blew out a breath. “He should have sided with me over the Lucas thing—or at least listened to me. But the problem became inconvenient for him, and he didn’t want to deal with it. It’s always easier to blame me instead of change his ways.”

“Look at you go,” Dax said, smiling proudly.

“What if I am in the wrong? I could do this with anything. I can’t go through life pretending nothing is ever my fault.”

“You won’t. You’ll make it right. That’s why you showed up to my shop after the accident. You’ll know here,” he said, as he thumped at his chest. “Most people are more normal. If they make mistakes, they own it and then try to make it right. But there are always going to be people we have to protect ourselves against. Your dad is one of yours.”

The simple way Dax spelled things out felt like something caged inside of me had been let free. For a brief second, all the twisted inner workings of my mind relaxed, allowing me to sit in a moment of justification and validation. Even though I knew my brain would re-complicate things soon enough, for now, the feeling of someone siding with me was liberating.

---