Page 111 of Sloane

“Well, if she’s not shallow, then you’re dumb.”

“She deserves it all… a white-picket fence, marriage, kids, and a dog. I can only offer a dog and maybe a condo someday. I’m not even going to put her in the position that she has to decide if she wants to be with me like this.”

Judy maneuvered my wheelchair in front of me, obviously lost in thought, otherwise she would have made me situate it myself.

“Don’t you think that’s pretty selfish on your part? Why doesn’t she get a say?”

“It’s just easier this way, Judy. Trust me. She’s young; she should have the fairytale with the prince. Not the frog.”

Judy scowled and watched me sit down and take the brakes off my chair.

“I’ve seen your chart. You can still have kids.”

I shot her a look before wheeling myself out of the room. “Physically, yes. But I’m not going to put some poor kid through having a freak-show dad who shows up and scares everyone at his soccer game.”

The woman tucked some of her silver and brown strands of hair behind her ear. “Did you tell your counselor that?”

“Yep,” I huffed, giving my wheels an extra hard push. “And Ken said my feelings are perfectly normal and reasonable.”

“Are you sure he said reasonable?” she teased, almost jogging to keep up with me.

“Let’s just get to work,” I grumbled.

I tried to be optimistic, but it was hard sometimes. I was alive and determined to recover and live life to the fullest—I owed that to Shawn. But I’d also seen myself in a mirror and knew what the left side of my face and body looked like—not to mention the missing body parts. I couldn’t have a relationship with Ashley—not anymore. She’d be expecting the man she’d spent a weekend with, and this version of myself would show up. How unfair would that be?

I imagined she’d be polite, of course, and try not to flinch at my appearance. But I didn’t even want to put her in that position.

What if she hasn’t moved on? the devil on my shoulder whispered.

I gave myself an internal shake.

It wouldn’t matter.

Why not? Maybe you could start over.

I needed to put those thoughts on lockdown. She probably fucking hated me, and with good reason. I owed her an apology, and then I’d let her go.

But even as soon as I thought it, I knew if I saw her, that would be easier said than done.

Maybe I could send her a letter.

Chapter Forty-One

Sloane

I was up early and in the PT room working with Judy while Dr. Noland observed my progress when Missy walked in.

“Sloane, you have visitors.”

I tilted my head in confusion and asked, “Visitorsss?” drawing out the “S”. I was only expecting Ryan today.

Maybe it was because that box Colonel Swartz had delivered still sat unopened on my desk, mocking me, but my immediate thought was, He brought Ashley.

I was surprised at the pang of disappointment in my gut when I looked and saw Ryan standing in the doorway with a man who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place.

With a smile, I called out, “They’ll let anyone in this place!”

My friend returned my grin and headed straight toward where I was attempting to walk with my temporary prosthetic while holding two bars.

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