Page 120 of Sloane

I shrugged. “Too bad for him. His name’s not on her birth certificate, and I didn’t ask for any child support from him. If he wants to see her, he’ll have to go through the court system, and I’ll drag my feet every step of the way.”

“So, until they find a replacement for you, you think you can be his PTA-slash-caretaker, and act like he’s not your baby daddy, and he didn’t break your heart?”

“Yep.” I popped the “P” and rocked forward on my toes.

Tammy pressed her lips together like she was trying to disguise her smile.

“What?” I demanded.

“Nothing. I just can’t decide which you’re going to do first, punch him or tell him off.”

“No. I’m a professional, and I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m serious!”

“Babe, I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing. We both know he deserves it.”

“It’s not worth it. Like I’ve said, he’s the one who’s going to be missing out. We’ll be just fine without him in our lives.”

“See, that’s the problem. He is in your life now.”

“Only mine, and only professionally.”

“I hope you can keep it that way.”

“And that’s why I need your help.”

****

Sloane

I sat on the edge of my new bed rereading Ashley’s words over and over in disbelief.

Dear Sloane,

I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, and that’s your right (obviously). But I wanted you to know, we’re going to have a daughter. She’s due in August.

I’m not asking for anything from you. I’m emotionally and financially prepared to do this by myself. I just thought it was the right thing to do to let you know about her and give you the option to be in her life. And if you don’t want to be, that’s okay. I will never speak badly about you. All I ask is if she finds you when she’s an adult, please treat her with kindness.

If you do decide to be a part of our daughter’s life, you have my word that I have no expectations of us being a couple. I only want to co-parent our little girl, so she feels safe and loved, whether she’s with her mom or her dad.

If I don’t hear from you again, I want you to know that you were the love of my life, Sloane. I wish nothing but happiness for you in the future.

Take care of yourself,

Ashley

Shame hit me square in the gut. I shouldn’t have been such a coward and not opened this letter. I shouldn’t have returned all of Ashley’s letters to begin with. I should have been kinder when I ended things.

I still thought ending things was the right thing to do. I wouldn’t want her to feel tied to me because of a baby. It’s not like I could have been much help while she was pregnant, but I could have given her money.

I had so many regrets.

I thought she had good reason to hate me before? That was just multiplied by a million.

“She’s never going to forgive me,” I mumbled.

---