Page 127 of Sloane

I wanted to reach up and trace the scars on his face and touch my lips to his, but I knew that would be out of line. Instead, I gazed back into his eyes and was almost transported back to a time when I thought the look he was giving me meant something more than it actually did.

Fortunately, Stu’s voice called, “Ash! I’m not sure I can take this out without dropping it!”

“I’m coming!”

Sloane’s smile was sad when he awkwardly took a step back so I could open the door and snap back to reality.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Sloane

I spent more time staring at the ceiling that night than sleeping. Not even the sound of the waves crashing against the shore could shut my brain off.

I had a daughter.

When I’d woken up that morning in San Antonio, “find out I’m a father” was nowhere on my bingo card.

Not only did I have a daughter, but her mama was the only woman I’d ever loved.

Being alone in my room with Ashley earlier, listening to her melodic voice that sounded even better than I remembered, seeing how fucking beautiful she was up close… I was proud of myself for keeping it together.

This was the woman I’d dreamed about coming home to after my tour was up—with her waiting for me at the airport with open arms.

This wasn’t how we were supposed to be living together. Me missing half a leg with mangled flesh of what remained of my left side while she took care of me.

I should be taking care of her and our daughter.

I’d reread Ashley’s letter again before I laid down. When she’d written it, she sounded like she was open to us raising Millie together, albeit separately. But I wondered, would me being in Millie’s life even be fair to her? I was always going to be the freak-show dad. If I didn’t scare her, I’d for sure scare her friends.

I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. But maybe I didn’t need to have all the answers right then. Ashley, Millie, and I were together in the same house now.

I just needed to convince Ashley not to leave.

And I needed to ditch my walker and start walking independently as soon as possible.

~~~~

Despite not getting much sleep, I was up early and made my way onto the back patio to breathe in the ocean air I’d missed for the last year and welcome the new day.

With my eyes closed and a smile on my face, I inhaled deeply and felt my body relax as a breeze rustled the windchimes. I was home.

A point that was reinforced when I came inside and found Ashley in the kitchen stirring something in a mixing bowl and having a full-blown conversation with our daughter who was watching from a bouncy seat on the counter.

“And when you get teeth, mommy will make you eggs and pancakes, too!”

I could see Millie hanging on every word her mama was telling her. My kid was a fucking genius.

“Good morning,” I said softly, not wanting to startle Ash in case she hadn’t heard me and my walker clicking into the kitchen.

Ashley turned, still cradling the mixing bowl in her arm while stirring the contents with the other and gave me a polite smile.

“Good morning. I see you still get up early.”

“I’m surprised to find you down here at this hour, to be honest.”

“I sleep when Millie sleeps, and as you can see,” she gestured to the little one on the counter, “she’s wide awake at seven a.m. and has been for the last hour.”

Ashley bopped the baby on her nose with a big smile and said in dramatic voice, “You’ve made mama a morning person whether she wants to be or not. Yes, you have.”

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