Page 155 of Sloane

Sloane

So much for pulling out.

With her head on my chest, I traced circles up and down her spine as I warred with myself to keep my mouth shut and let her fall asleep.

It was taken out of my hands when our sweet baby’s cries came through the baby monitor.

When Ashley sat up, I suggested, “Why don’t you bring her down here again.”

She shook her head. “Not tonight. You need your rest.”

I wanted to argue but I knew I needed to tread lightly.

“Okay,” I said before planting a kiss on her lips. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Chapter Fifty-Five

Sloane

I was the first to finish therapy Monday morning and once again tried to feed Millie when she started to fuss while Ash was working with Stu.

But my stubborn little girl would not get on board with my plan to help out and continued to refuse to take a bottle, no matter what I did. Same as yesterday.

“I’ve ordered different types of bottles and nipples,” Ashley said as she took her from me. “And I’ve been reading about other ways to get her to take it. We’ll keep trying until we get it right.”

I appreciated her trying to stay upbeat, but my inability to be of any use to her was starting to take its toll. Not on my masculinity, per se since that part of my ego was fed every night when I made her come.

She once again snuck down to my room last night, this time without me even asking. Although, I wasn’t sure how I felt about being her dirty little secret. I guess it did make the sex hotter.

But the part that was taking a beating was my ability to be provider and a dad.

I was a fucking Marine and the extent of my ability to care for my child consisted of patting her back until she burped and/or spit up. That was it. I couldn’t even put her to bed, and Ashley always disappeared whenever Millie needed a diaper change.

I was useless.

It made sense why Ashley didn’t want anything from me but sex.

I needed to start counseling in San Diego. I’d been making great strides in San Antonio, but the minute I found out that not only was I going to be living with Ashley, but I also had a baby girl, I’d put scheduling an appointment on the back burner.

As old feelings of unworthiness started to surface, I realized that was a mistake. One I needed to rectify sooner rather than later.

Excusing myself to my room, I called for a referral to get the ball rolling.

I wasn’t sure how long it would take for someone to get back to me about scheduling something. If it took too long, I knew I could probably reach out to my liaison at WWP for help getting an appointment. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to.

My phone buzzed with an incoming text.

Well, that didn’t take long.

The message wasn’t about a counseling appointment though. I was being summoned to the base on Wednesday to meet with command staff.

I had an idea what they wanted to meet with me about, and my answer was going to be a resounding no.

~~~~

I was on dinner duty that night, so while Crash and Stu played video games on the family room couch, I made a salad and Ashley prepared a chicken and rice dish.

Stu had told me that Sandy, the PTA who was there before Ashley, didn’t like to cook like Ash did, and we were being spoiled.

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