“Hey, it’s my turn,” Ash said softly as she picked up Millie from her crib. “Go back to sleep.”
I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
****
Ashley
Sloane was quiet as he ate his breakfast, and I asked, “Regrets?”
His brows drew together as he paused mid-bite.
“About us?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck no. My only regret is that I’ve been away from you for too long.”
“So then, what’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I was just wondering if it’s too soon to ask you to marry me.”
The orange juice I’d been drinking came out my nose, and I grabbed the napkin from my lap to wipe my face before I sputtered, “Marry you?”
“Yeah. Is it too soon to ask you?”
“Yes, it’s too soon! I can’t marry you!”
He pulled his head back and frowned.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re going to go back overseas, and I don’t think I can go through that again.”
“What does that mean, ‘you don’t think you can go through that again’?”
“Exactly how it sounds.”
“So… what’s going to happen if I deploy again? You’re just going to stop loving me? I’m going to become persona non grata?”
“Of course not. You’ll always be Millie’s dad. We need to make that official, by the way, and change her birth certificate so you’re listed as her father.”
“I would love that, but back to if I deploy… are we just going to break up if that happens?”
I set my fork down with a sigh.
“I don’t know, Sloane. My head says that’s the smart thing to do. I don’t think my heart could survive if something happened to you again.”
“But it’d be okay if we broke up?”
“No, of course not. So, you see my dilemma. Getting married would only complicate it even more.”
“There’s a chance I could stay stateside. We’re not involved in any conflicts or skirmishes right now.”
“Given the state of the world, I can’t count on that.”
He was quiet as he stirred his scrambled eggs around his plate, so I said softly, “We just started ‘dating’ yesterday, do we have to talk about getting married today?”
His smile was forced when he looked up at me.