Page 59 of Sloane

That raised my hackles a little. I didn’t think she was being fair.

“What are you talking about? Maddie, Grace, Craig, Ryan, and Tammy were all there when I said it last night.”

“And they were all here today when you said I was your friend.”

Goddammit.

I didn’t have any defense for that.

Her bottom lip trembled, and her eyes grew watery. I hate that I’d hurt her feelings and maybe even embarrassed her. I would have given my left nut to go back in time and make it right.

But I was leaving Monday—Veteran’s Day, of all days, and who knew when I was going to be back. I couldn’t make it right—not yet, anyway.

“Sweetness…” I traced her cheekbone with my thumb. “I would love for you to be my girlfriend…”

“But?” she squeaked.

“But I can’t ask you to be that until I’m back for good. It’s not fair to you.”

“I already told you; I’ll wait.”

“What if I don’t come back, baby?”

She recoiled like I’d slapped her, bumping into a shelf in the refrigerator, and her eyes grew wide. The tears threatening to spill over.

“This next mission is going to be the most dangerous one I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot.”

As my words sunk in, her anger at me dissipated into fear for me, and the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. I brushed them away with my thumbs, the feeling of helplessness to ease her pain and worry felt like a five-hundred-pound weight on my chest. The only thing I could think to do was hold her against me and let her cry.

While she sobbed quietly into my shirt, I remembered having witnessed this scene dozens of times every time my company shipped out. And how I had always been glad I wasn’t attached and didn’t have to put someone through that.

I never should have gotten involved with her. Not like this.

But even as the thought entered my mind, I couldn’t imagine not having had her in my life. I finally understood that stupid Tennyson poem I’d had to read in high school. “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

I used to think it was bullshit.

Now I wasn’t so sure.

Chapter Seventeen

Ashley

Sloane’s arm was around my naked waist when I woke up, and I smiled as my body buzzed with happiness. I loved waking up next to him.

“Good morning, sweetness,” he whispered.

I looked over to find him watching me carefully with his head on the pillow.

“Hi,” I replied softly while wiping the sleep from my eyes. “Have you been awake long?”

“No.”

Glancing at the Fitbit on my wrist, I saw it was almost seven-thirty, and immediately became suspicious.

“Are you sure? You haven’t slept past five-thirty once since you got here. And we were in bed pretty early last night.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t sleeping, and you kept me up late,” he said with a wink.

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