Page 62 of Sloane

“How long before you can retire?” I quipped.

“Technically, in two years when I hit the twenty mark I can retire with a fifty percent pension. But if I hang around for fourteen more years, my pension will be eighty percent of my base salary.”

“So, is that your plan?”

“For now. I wouldn’t mind being retired at fifty.”

Fourteen years was a long time. I didn’t know how many times I could handle him leaving me with no end date in sight.

He showed the man at the gate his credentials, and we were waved through.

As the car’s tires drove over the speedbumps leading onto the base, it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I’d been with this man less than a week, and I was ready to lose it. How did wives and real girlfriends do it?

But I vowed that I’d keep it together until I got home. The last thing he needed to worry about was me.

He pulled into the same parking lot I’d originally parked in last Wednesday—the day we finally met in person. It was almost deserted, I didn’t know if it being a holiday played a part in that, but it was another stark comparison to when he’d arrived. The furthest I would be allowed today was the parking lot. Our goodbye was going to be right there next to the car.

But even that I felt fortunate about. He’d explained last night to everyone that since he was hopping on a transport, there wouldn’t be the usual fanfare associated with a sendoff, so, no civilians would be allowed in the hangar with him. He told his friends they’d have to say their goodbyes last night. So, as we stood in Loraine’s Bistro parking lot after we’d finished dinner, they’d all hugged him farewell.

Sloane had chosen Loraine’s because he said it was the bougiest restaurant with a dog-friendly patio to celebrate my early birthday. His friends even got me cards and gift certificates, which made me feel like one of the gang.

But after we finished dessert, the air at the restaurant suddenly felt heavy in the chilly November evening under the silver-domed heat lamps. Even Tank seemed to sense the somberness of the occasion because he’d whined and sighed as we sat talking after dinner, and he relentlessly pawed at his owner for attention. Something Sloane freely gave.

I knew leaving his dog weighed heavily on his heart.

And leaving me today seemed to be as hard for him as it was for me.

I stood at the driver’s side door as he got his duffel bag from the back. He offered a sad smile as he closed the rear passenger door, then set his bag down at his feet when he cupped my face in his hands while his azure eyes searched mine.

I will not cry! I will not cry!

Even as I chanted the words in my head, my eyes filled with tears.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” I whispered as the first tear fell.

“Not as much as I’m going to miss you, dulzura.”

He wiped my cheeks with his thumbs, then leaned down and lightly touched my lips with his.

“I need to tell you something, in case I don’t come back.”

I shook my head furiously, refusing to even entertain that idea. “No—you’re going to—”

“Ash,” he said louder to talk over my protests. “I need to say this.”

I didn’t like it, but I snapped my mouth closed to let him talk uninterrupted.

“I want you to know these last five days with you have been the best days of my life.”

I nodded in agreement as he kept going. “And I know it’s way too soon to be saying this, and I’m sorry if I freak you out, but I can’t risk never having told you.”

I held my breath as I waited for him to say what I thought he was going to say.

He stared into my eyes when he said, “I love you, Ashley.”

My solar plexus ached at his admission. I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted him to feel the same way I did until he said it out loud.

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