Page 73 of Sloane

“So will you let me know if you hear anything?”

“Of course, you’ll be the first to know.”

I hung up the phone and clung to her hopeful words as I finished the drive home. I thought I’d calmed myself down, but apparently, I was wrong because the minute I closed my apartment door, I made a mad dash to the bathroom and lost my lunch.

~~~~

I stayed glued to the TV and internet the rest of the night and again the minute I woke after a fitful night’s sleep.

My stomach was in knots and the idea of food made me queasy. Still, I knew I needed to try to eat breakfast, but it quickly came back up.

Around one o’clock, Tammy showed up at my door with a pizza in one hand and a six-pack of Leinenkugel’s Orange Shandy bottles in the other.

“I just saw the news.”

Seeing her in the doorway, knowing I wasn’t alone, made me drop my guard. Which wasn’t necessarily a good thing because I burst out crying.

“Aw, babe. I’m so sorry,” she soothed as she walked in, dropped the pizza and beer on the counter, then pulled me in for a long hug.

“Is it Sloane?” she whispered.

“Is who Sloane?” I asked as I pulled away and wiped my eyes.

“Action News…” she stopped. I could tell she didn’t want to say anything else, but I prompted, “Is there something new?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it with a frown.

“Tam,” I said sternly. “What did they say?”

“They reported one dead and four seriously injured from Camp Pendleton, but they aren’t naming names yet. I didn’t know if you’d heard anything more.”

Tearing up again, I sobbed, “No! I have no idea what’s going on! I’m just sitting and waiting to hear if he’s okay, and… nada!”

She rubbed my biceps and said in a soft voice, “Maybe it’s because there’s nothing to tell, and you’re making yourself upset over nothing.” Then she realized what she’d said and tried to correct herself. “I mean, it’s not nothing because there are Marines who were killed and injured, but I mean it’s not Sloane.”

I wrapped my arms around my middle and walked over to the couch to sit down and gently rock myself.

“And I’ve been struggling with that since I found out. I mean, how can I pray for it to be someone else? What kind of horrible person does that?”

That guilt had been wracking through me all day.

Tammy sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulder.

“Babe, you’re not wishing for it to happen to someone else. You’re just hoping it’s not the man you love.”

My phone buzzed on the coffee table, and I froze. My whole body was overcome with a sense that I did not want to answer that call. I knew in my soul that Sloane was one of the men involved. What I didn’t know was if he was killed or injured, and I think that’s the only reason I clicked “answer”.

“Hello?”

“Ashley?” a male’s voice asked.

“Yeah…” I said in a tentative voice and braced myself.

“Hey, it’s Craig. I’m calling with news about Sloane.”

My eyes immediately welled up. “Is he okay?”

“No, honey,” he said softly, “he’s not.”

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