Page 28 of Princess Claimed

“For the way I fucked you.” He looks down. “It was brutal and that was not my intention. I know that’s not how you most enjoy the act.” He shakes his head and his fingers flex. “Forgive me. I lost my head.”

“Oh.” My chest tightens, and so do my inner muscles, pulsing, as if my body is reliving the sex with Crusher. “I wouldn’t say you were brutal.” I shake my head. “You were…” I chew my bottom lip while I’m trying to find the right words to explain how fabulous the sex felt. Because, while the sex with Crusher was beyond rigorous, definitely rough and unbelievably overwhelming, it was also amazing.

I reach my hand across the space between our chairs to rest it on the arm of his. “Crusher, you made me feel a lot, but it wasn’t brutal. In fact, in addition to giving me the pleasure and relief that I needed, you made me feel safe, protected.”

His back stiffens as if he’s startled by my response. “Safe? I nearly crushed you.”

I shake my head. “That’s not how it felt. The way you enveloped me with your body… The way you wrapped yourself over me and squeezed my legs together while you were inside me…” I draw a deep breath “…it was like your body was offering me shelter. Protecting me from the entire world and taking care of me in ways I didn’t know I needed.”

He turns slightly toward me, wonder in his eyes. “Is that true?”

“Why would I lie about that?”

His hand drops over mine on the arm of his chair, completely engulfing it, like how his body encased mine during sex. He looks deep into my eyes, and I again marvel at the mix of golds and browns that live there. The darkest browns that ring the perimeters of his irises swirl, as if they’re stirring the amber and chestnut mixture in their centers, and the golden flecks sparkle, calling out to me.

Now that Rasputin’s dead, I have no reason to stay with these men anymore. I must return to my duties, but looking into Crusher’s eyes, I also know that, if the circumstances were different, if I asked him to, this man would protect me from everything and anything—forever. And he’d do it without obligation. My heart swells with fondness and gratitude.

“Where did your instinct to protect others come from?” I ask.

“Instinct?” His hand slides off mine to rest on the cushion covering his lap. “Protection isn’t an instinct, it’s my job. Sometimes. When it’s what we are hired to do. Is that what you mean?”

Shaking my head, I trace one of the flowers on the upholstered fabric of my own chair’s arm. “It’s more than that.” Warmth fills my chest as I think of how protective he’s acted toward me, and toward Flame and Blade in their childhoods. “You protect the people you care about. You always have. Like your brothers when they were little?—”

“How could you know…” His voice trails off, and he looks into my eyes again.

“Flame and Blade both told me how you took care of them when they were little boys. They said you were like a surrogate father, looking out for them.”

Shaking his head, Crusher looks away from me. “No, I didn’t.” His hand fists over his cushion. “The Master hurt them both, often punished them, and I failed to protect them. Failed others too.”

“Hey.” Rising onto my knees, I lean over and put my hand on his upper arm. “I’m certain you did all you could.” My mind flashes to Alexei, my little brother dying as we lay in that cold forest. I failed to protect him too.

Crusher shakes his head.

“I can see how much you regret the times you couldn’t keep them from harm, even after all these years. But that only proves your fierce drive to do so. It shows what’s in your heart.”

His head swivels toward me and he looks at me with wonder and what seems like gratitude. “You…” he shakes his head. “Do you have the power to read others’ thoughts?”

I smile. “No, I can’t read your mind, Crusher. But the way you look at your brothers—and at me. Your actions show you care about the safety of everyone you care about.”

He doesn’t deny that he cares about me, and I’m glad.

“Perhaps you’re right.” He looks ahead. “I am responsible for—” He clears his throat. “Speaking of safety, it’s time we discuss your next steps.”

I swallow the lump that snuck up my throat. “If you guys will take me to the surface and point me in the direction of DEFTA, then…” I shake my head. I have no idea what I’ll do once things are resolved with the Marianos. They may already be resolved, and my time in Philadelphia will be done. “Mariano is dead. Is that right?”

“Yes. He is dead.” Crusher nods. “But you should stay, regardless.”

Relief hits me for a split second—glad for an excuse to stay with them longer—but then I wonder what he means. “Why should I stay?”

“We need to be certain the danger has passed.”

“Rasputin’s dead.”

“I—we—just want to be certain you’re safe. Blade wants to do some research.”

“About what?”

“Demons. Possessions. How Rasputin stayed alive for so long.”

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