Page 65 of Princess Claimed

“If you don’t want to tell me?—”

“I want you to know.” His eyes close. “Crusher did all he could to save the kid’s life, but even his strength couldn’t stop me.”

My heart nearly stops. Maybe this is the story that will break the proverbial camel’s back. Maybe there is a limit to my compassion, a boundary to my new love for Phil. “What kid?” My voice is a squeak.

“Henry,” Phil says on a hard exhale. “He was a year older and always bragging about how he’d be the next one to graduate—to be turned.”

I nod, letting him know someone’s already explained graduation at the Institute to me.

“Henry was a bully.” Phil shakes his head. “You’d think I’d have been the Institute bully, but it was Henry, through and through.” Phil’s eyes narrow. “He reminded me of my father.”

“That must have been difficult.”

Nodding, he shifts me on his lap. “One day, Henry tried to steal Blade’s food, and Blade stood up to him. Henry hurled a racial slur at Blade and punched him in the gut.

Flame and Blade were like my little brothers already. I wanted to keep them safe, especially since I’d failed to protect my biological brothers. I let loose on the asshole. All I could see was my rage and my Pa.

“Over and over, I punched Henry’s face, his guts. I slammed his head into the floor.”

Phil’s eyes are unfocussed, and even though what he’s telling me is horrific and brutal, the obvious shame and pain in his eyes breaks my heart.

“Later, I found out that Crusher had tried to stop me. And I’d hit Crusher too. But while it was happening, it was… it was like a fugue state.” He shakes his head.

“Were you punished terribly?” I’ve heard about punishments at the Institute.

He laughs, sharply. “The opposite. The Master praised me, he took me under his wing, gave me special privileges, extra food and vampire blood. It’s one of the many reasons I’m this big.” He rakes back his hair, leaving his hand there and squeezing his head so tightly I worry his skull will crack.

“The master decided to channel my fury. To harness it as my main weapon.” He shakes his head. “Crusher saved me from that.”

“How?” My eyes flick toward the door, and I wonder if Crusher is still standing outside it. Of course he is. There’s no chance he would leave the door unguarded, and I’m reminded of how both Blade and Flame told me that Crusher acted like a big brother, almost a father, toward them. It seems he did something kind for Phil, too.

“Crusher helped me discover other ways to direct my anger beyond using my fists. He showed me the joys of gunpowder, of TNT and dynamite, and the basics of explosions. Every time my anger rose, I’d blow something up. And soon I knew things about bombs that neither Crusher nor the Master could dream of.”

Pride invades the shame and anguish that have pained Phil’s expression since he stopped pummeling that vampire on the dance floor.

“I always wondered how you got interested in explosions.”

“It’s more than an interest, my love. Blowing up shit is my life.” He grins. “At least until I met you.”

My heart nearly explodes. Not only has Phil’s mood lightened, he called me, ‘my love’. I want to use words like that with him too, but the reality of our future stops me. I remind myself that these euphoric feelings can’t last.

Given my royal duties and my overpowering urge for freedom and travel, I can’t see how a future with Phil could work. And that’s not even considering Phil’s duty to his brothers, to their work and their lives together. In spite of his declaration of love and his vows of protection, he’d never abandon the others for me. But I don’t want to think about that right now.

“Thank you,” he says softly, and I look into his eyes.

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Crusher helped me after…after Henry, but we never talked about it. And I never told anyone about killing my father.” He shakes his head. “I thought saying it out loud would bring that part of me back. Bring back the horror, bring back the monster I was, but instead…”

A contended, hopeful look spreads on his face. “I feel freed from it. Like my shame was a land mine, a massive hard lump in my chest waiting to explode. But now, after two centuries of pressure, the tension’s defused. The explosives disintegrated.”

“I’m glad.” Happiness overwhelms me, and I realize that no matter the obstacles, I want to find a way to stay at Phil’s side, forever. “Phil, I love you. So much.”

Desire builds inside his contented expression. “In that case, I’ve got another hard problem you could take care of.” He winks, then glances down. “That is, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Oh,” I look into his eyes, “taking care of that particular hardness won’t be any trouble at all.”

Chapter

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